


Household Boy

by LeeHongbifyMeanIt



Category: B.A.P, EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Love, Comedy, Consensual, Consensual Sex, Drabble, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hot Chanyeol, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, One Shot, Rimming, Romance, Senpai Notice Me, Sex Addiction, Smut, Unrequited Love, Youngjae is Hoping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-22 01:39:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13156458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeHongbifyMeanIt/pseuds/LeeHongbifyMeanIt
Summary: Title: Household BoyPairing(s): Chanyeol (EXO) X Youngjae (B.A.P)Characters: Yoo Youngjae, Park Chanyeol [MAIN], Kim Jongin (Kai), Kim Junmyeon (Suho), Jung Hoseok (J-Hope), Yoo Heedo, Yoo Seonho, Oh Sehun, Kang Seulgi and appearances of other K-Pop Stars [SIDE]Synopsis: Youngjae is the household boy of the very hot and popular actor Park Chanyeol. Youngjae is the complete opposite of the latter. He's not rich, just a simple lad trying to survive life by working as a servant in order to support his younger siblings. He dreams for the impossible fantasies in life, including being hopelessly in love with his boss. They say everything is possible and even the least likely to happen will become true if you keep on believing, so why not try to hope for the worst?Warning: My first time writing (slight?) smut. Forgive me. This is way too loooooong so brace yourselves.





	1. FINAL [Revamped]

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously this pairing needs a lot of attention. Hope you guys enjoy this. Here's a simple cover I made. You can also view it on [Asianfanfics](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1314084/household-boy-comedy-fluff-oneshot-romance--drabble-youngjae-chanyeol-unrequitedlove-blindlove-consensual-hotchanyeol-youngjaeishoping).

 

 

_"_ _We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it."_

**~ Nicholas Sparks**

 

 

 

 

 

          Youngjae was helpless since his parents had passed away. Their simple family was poor, and he never had the chance to attain a stable life, plus the struggles of supporting his younger siblings were aggrandizing his miseries. In order to end all of their sufferings, he immediately and reluctantly stopped his studies for the sake of finding a job.

 

          He tried everything all of his ability can do. He attempted to apply to a stereotype coffee shop, to a fast food restaurant, to be a helper at a library, and even as a janitor in the local grocery shop near the slums. Unfortunately, out of the countless places he tried to apply for, no one even pitied him and they all turned their backs away from him. With no luck, the lad wept agonizingly. He didn't know what to do anymore, especially his siblings were crying painfully because of hunger. Being a prostitute even crossed his mind but the thought of someone touching and harassing him--- no. He can't even picture it. What more to do it?

 

          Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. His siblings were on the peril of danger if he won't find a job the sooner or later, and that thought had a high chance of occurring. One evening, the poor boy decided to go to a random bar inside the Red Light District, hoping for any type of job. The whole area was really eerie, and the reek of alcohol, smoke and sex were invading his sinus. The lights coming from the different buildings were too glamorous to look at, burning the boy's eyes. The guy can't take the unknown surroundings that's why he finally decided to escape, sobbing in despair.

 

          He and his siblings were forced to sleep with empty stomachs for few months. Youngjae continued to search for a job, until a friend of him hinted for a possible phosphorescence of hope.

 

"It's not much, but I think it can help you to support your siblings. I hope you'll grab this opportunity." Seulgi, his elementary friend, had informed him about a random guy seeking for a house servant while grinning mysteriously. Without any second thoughts, the lad greedily and hastily accepted his friends' recommendation. He was more grateful than any of the other people around him because who knows, this might be the answer to his prayers.

 

          Immediately, Youngjae went to the meeting place the next day. Seulgi gave him the contact details about the man and he wasted no time to text him. They both agreed to meet on a coffee shop 15 minutes away from the slums Youngjae's family resided. The boy arrived 20 minutes earlier on the shop in order to leave a good impression. He sat on the chair nervously and he couldn't stop himself but to tap his fingers unconsciously on the table top, feeling that any moment now, he might pee. Youngjae made a mental note to himself,  _'Do I look presentable today? Am I decent to look at? Is my speech really satisfying? Will the recruiter accept me?'_ Negative thoughts suddenly started to flood him like a deluge with no way out. As the time passed by, he can also feel that his heart's palpitation had increased worryingly and his fingernails were starting to get bruises because of his continuous nibbling.

 

 _'All good things, all good things.'_ Finally, the moment he dreaded had come. The man had arrived, and from the description he gave to him the last few days; black turtleneck shirt, brown slacks and black leather shoes--- this was the man indeed. The boy pondered if this guy will be his boss since he never had the chance to ask about it, but his train of thoughts were instantly interrupted when the guy greeted him.

 

"Hello, Youngjae-ssi." The guy straightway greeted with a smile after sitting in front of the fumbling guy. Youngjae barely managed to surpass a smile as he stood before hastily replying, "Hello, Mr. Kim Junmyeon." Youngjae even bowed in front of the older which made him giggling.

 

          Junmyeon beamed again before saying, "There's nothing to worry about, Youngjae-ssi. By the way, I'm so sorry for the delay. I assume you've been waiting for me for a while now, isn't it?"

 

"N-No, Mr. Kim! It's probably fine!" He immediately replied. Junmyeon laughed again before saying, "It’s okay, Youngjae-ssi. Now, before we start to discuss, let's order first! Don't worry, boy. It's my treat." He grinned.

 

          It ended up Youngjae having a latte while Junmyeon having black coffee. The younger sipped nervously on his drink as he watch Junmyeon who seemed to be enjoying himself while dreamily admiring the aesthetics of the shop. The latter wiped his lips with a tissue before placing the coffee back on top of the table.

 

"So..." He started, "Let's dig in to our business. I'm going to introduce myself again. Hello, my name is Kim Junmyeon and I am the recruiter you've transacted yesterday. If you are wondering if I will be your boss if you pass the interview after our talk, then unfortunately the answer is no."

 

 _'What a bummer.'_ The lad whispered to himself. He was sure that Mr. Kim was a nice guy, and he was starting to like him even though they just met a while ago. Instead of showing his utter disappointment, Youngjae just nodded on the information he had just received.

 

"In fact, I am the manager of the guy you will work for. When Seulgi contacted me about someone who's desperate for having a work, I was very glad. You see... I hate to say this but the guy you will be working with is…” He paused for a while, contemplating for the next words he was about to say, “A pain in the ass... He's so gibberish despite of his status and god... He barely has time to fix his own house--- err... Mansion or whatever, but the thing is! At last someone will do those things for him, thanks to you!" He cheerfully rambled.

 

"Actually, I'm even more surprised when I learned that a guy was applying for it--- not that you can't do equally as a woman can do… But hey! Based on my impressions, I think you're a hardworking lad." He grinned. Youngjae was stunned on the pieces of information he's having, but he was still curious, _'Who am I will be working to? What kind of person is he?'_  Those were the questions that were lingering inside his mind, patiently seeking for answers. However, the man's friendly face turned three hundred sixty degrees from being so flashy and joyous to being serious in a fraction of second after partaking another sip on his drink.

 

"Well, I want to tell this information as smoothly as possible. It is about the guy that you will be working under. Can you promise me one thing, son?" He stated. Youngjae gulped an imaginary lump in his throat. This was it. He's finally going to know his boss' identity.

 

But wait, the interview hadn't started yet, right? Then why this guy was already revealing about the identity of the boss? Nevertheless, Youngjae answered safely as possible. He muttered an unsure ‘Yes’ as he crossed his fingers under the table. He felt like he will hyperventilate anytime but he still needed to endure it. Junmyeon smiled meaningfully as he clasped his palms on top of the table.

 

 

 

 

 

"Alright." He muttered almost inaudibly. "Let me tell you first this. Congratulations, Yoo Youngjae-ssi! You have passed the interview! The guy you'll be working under? Well, don't freak out. Because your new boss will be the one and only Park Chanyeol, the most popular and highest paid actor in South Korea. And also, mind you, kid. I am not kidding."

 

In that moment, Youngjae wished he had died with his parents too. 

 

 

 

 

 

_Oh, brother._

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

          Chanyeol and Youngjae's first encounter was pretty awkward. Not unpleasant, just downward awkward. Junmyeon introduced the lad cheerfully but Chanyeol just waved him off, too busy to even pay attention. Youngjae still couldn't believe such things were happening to him right now. First, he had now a job which was a good sign. But the thing was, he was  _never_ informed that he will be working under the hot rod Park Chanyeol--- the freakin' most successful and popular actor in his country. He expected that he will be just working under a random family but hey--- it was the complete opposite of it, or maybe even a blessing in disguise.

 

          The actor's house--- or preferably mansion--- Youngjae couldn't think of any possible adjectives to describe it--- was a vast, three-storey mansion located inside an exclusive subdivision for the elites. It had multiple rooms, a mini function hall, a luxurious pool, a huge garage filled with multitudinous cars, small gymnasium and any other cliché and luxurious things you could see inside a mansion. He was afraid to touch anything on the huge house he was about to work, because he might broke something that was very costly and probably prized more than his life.

 

          Still dazed on the overwhelming events happening in his life, he hadn't noticed the waving Junmyeon in front of him. "Hey, are you alright? You seemed paler than the last time I saw you?" The lad just awkwardly nodded and assured the manager that he was perfectly fine. Junmyeon just smiled and patted his shoulders. "Alright, kid! Don't be so nervous! You're lucky Chanyeol is here since today is his day-off. You know the guy, so workaholic. He just goes home every night to sleep and then at the early dawn, he usually leaves to attend to his appointments and other works. No wonder he's so successful and very popular, huh? I usually fix his schedules and appointments. Everything that are offered to him will first pass to the company he is under, then after it is approved, I will arrange it so that his schedule won’t get mixed up.” He explained. Youngjae was just there, absentmindedly nodding because he was still busy gawking at the sight of the mansion, “You know, it isn't necessary for you to start today. You can start next week after I orient you. Sounds good?"

 

          One, Youngjae mustn't complain. The offer was a huge blessing to him (talk about huge amount of salary) and he won't turn this offer down--- like ever. Two, he still can't believe that he will be starting to work under Park freakin' Chanyeol. His family had a small television inside their small home and he always saw the superstar very often. He wasn't personally a fan but his classmates during his high school years were so in to him he always back off when they start fangirling every time Chanyeol's dramas premiere.

 

"Errr... Did I ever mention to you before that Chanyeol never had a servant before? Well... You're the first by the way... Judging also from the surroundings..."

 

"W-Wait I'm the only servant here?! I'm going to clean this place every day by myself?" He hysterically said. He took another peek around his surroundings. The whole first floor was too massive, what more the entire house? According to his contract, he must keep the whole mansion clean, cook meals for his boss and keep and maintain the garden healthy, even the front yard and the pool... Was this man going to kill him? By the way, how did they manage to keep the whole place so neat and tight even without housekeepers?! That was _way_  too suspicious.

 

"U-Unfortunately my boy y-yes... But do not worry! I will find another servants as soon as possible to keep you accompanied! Sure the boy has no time to hire and do these kind of things that's why I am the one who's doing it for him. He should be really thankful. By the way, you are not really that alone. There is Hoseok, Chanyeol's personal driver. He's very friendly and I'm sure he will help you out."

 

          Youngjae just wanted to go home and weep. It was too much! With his scrawny, pale and skinny built, he will never survive even  _one_ day just to make the palace clean. Was the moment he was experiencing right now some kind of another punishment for him? But the lad has no choice. No one will ever give him an offer like this. He mentally thanked his friend Seulgi for giving him this opportunity.

 

          Speaking of Seulgi, how come did she have a contact for the manager of Park Chanyeol? Mystical, if he would ask. Youngjae made a mental note to himself that he will ask Junmyeon about this matter. But for the time being, first thing's first. He needed to go home, inform his siblings about his grand new job and thank Seulgi for this... Even though next week, the lad will finally face his end.

 

 

 

 

 

         _'Welcome to my annihilation.'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

         As expected, Youngjae's first three days working inside the mansion were pure hell. The whole vibe his job was giving to him was pure loneliness aside from degradation and utter misery. Cleaning the living room was exhausting. The pool was freaking huge, the orchard was also humongous and the front yard? Never mind that. He will never finish to trim the weeds there, anyway. In other words, the whole place was a hellhole in disguise. Screw the blessing in disguise. It was definitely the complete opposite of it! The rooms in the second and third floors were also too exaggerated, and by the time he's on the rooftop, he can't even feel his whole body anymore. At the end of his days when he finally had the chance to rest, he didn’t waste his time to plan his techniques in cleaning the whole house by only _himself_. Sure, Hoseok was such an angel and always lending his hands to help the latter, but the manpower was still so much lacking.

 

          One week had past and Youngjae was slowly learning to accept his ill-stained faith. He recognized that whining was such a waste of time, so instead of constantly doing it, he pondered about his family instead. By the time inspiration will finally wake up his woebegone soul, his adrenaline will somehow energize and _boom_. Chanyeol was expected to arrive between seven and eight in the evening when he has his normal schedules. Youngjae's final tasks everyday were to cook dinner for the man and to prepare his bath. After that, he may now free to rest to his own small room that can be located in the first floor of the mansion.

 

          Guaranteed, Chanyeol was extremely attractive even without make-up. So many girls were dying just to see him personally but him- a mere servant and not even a fan of him- had been given a chance to see him closely and not just by one mere moment, because he practically sees the actor from time to time. In spite of this, the servant and actor's only interactions were every morning when Chanyeol needed to go very early, during his day-offs, and also during supper time. There's not much talks aside from normal greetings such as _'Good morning, sir Chanyeol.'_ ,  _'Good evening sir Chanyeol. Your dinner is already ready.'_ or  _'Sir, your bath is ready._ ' Even skin-to-skin contacts were rare, and those times only occur when Youngjae removes his boss' coat. During Chanyeol's day-offs, the man normally hangs out either at the rooftop, inside the library (yes, he has his own freaking library), in his own room resting or in the living room. Youngjae usually offered him coffee or any drinks which the man silently and gratefully accepts. Albeit they rarely interact, Youngjae was oblivious about Chanyeol's satisfaction on his performance, especially the meals he prepared since the actor rarely eat proper and good cuisines.

 

          Chanyeol's presence in televisions was pure legitimate. That's what Youngjae had also confirmed. You see a guy who knows how to make a girl faint by only staring--- that's Park Chanyeol. You see a guy whose smile can immobilize and melt someone at the same time--- that's Park Chanyeol. The guy seriously knew how to intimidate people and sparkle at the same time. His appeal was no joke, although he behaved well in his home--- based on Youngjae's observations. Well, it was safe to say that Youngjae was _also_ intimidated to his boss. Somehow, Chanyeol's stares and actions were starting to make his insides to weirdly turn. At first, he thought he was just too sleepy and delusional, but no. His body  _was_ really reacting differently every time he sensed his boss' presence. It didn't help the bewildered lad. He was born intelligent, and he definitely knew what the main dilemma that was bugging him. Whatever it was, he surely didn’t want to make the hole even deeper.

 

          'Accidents' were surely inevitable. Was accident really even the right word? There were times that his boss walked shamelessly topless in front of him (not that he mind, though...) especially when he cleaned the gym. He pretended he's dusting off the heavy barbells and other equipment inside the room but the truth was- he couldn't help himself but to pilfer few glances to the flexing sweaty muscles at the center of the ring like a tasty piece of meat. He blushed madly and scolded himself for thinking such dirty things. He tried his best to clean faster so he can go out of the gym as soon as possible or else he might do something he might surely regret. Although his main hindrance was staying inside the gymnasium, tantalizing him with all might, the pool was his next enemy. Sometimes, Chanyeol also hangout at the pool area only with his swimming trunks, and god knows how Youngjae endured his jaw from hanging open. His boss' physique was too shiny to look at, and his eyes were always blessed. His struggles on removing dirty images inside his mind were also not helping at all.

 

"About to clean here, I see?" Chanyeol greeted one weekend morning. As usual, the actor's body was glistening with sweat, perfectly trailing his muscles as he hit the punching bag in front of him. Youngjae gulped nervously as he watched the latter concentrating, doing his workout session. His grip on the mop that he was holding suddenly tightened and he tried to lower down his gaze. He muttered an almost inaudible "Y-Yes, sir" before proceeding to make himself busy, accompanying the things around the room just to prevent himself from viewing his boss.

 

          Anyway, his first monthly salary was purely  _daebak_. In other words, he literally cried inside the bathroom because of utter rhapsody. His first wage can even literally feed his siblings for a year, and he was really grateful. He wanted to give Chanyeol a big hug for this blessing, to be able to feel those hard muscles against his skin… Wait--- No! What was he thinking?! His siblings had finally tasted decent food on their plates and they were really grateful to their hyung. He even bought presents for them to make them feel better.

 

          Since Youngjae also started to work as a household boy under Chanyeol, he had seen few known personalities in person. There's Kim Jongin, or known by his stage name Kai, also a popular actor and a remarkable singer, who visits Chanyeol from time to time during their free time. The guy was also kind and very funny in personal. He even tried to be friends with him. There was also Chanyeol's sister Jiyeon who's a well-known model and owner of a famous fashion brand whose presence was also powerful and her features were so gorgeous and flawless. Lastly, Chanyeol's half-brother Oh Sehun, who's not a celebrity star but a famous ulzzang. There were times Youngjae can't even take their presence because he's ashamed of breathing the same air with them.

 

          Thank goodness his daily routine had passed smoothly. He's thankful that he only saw his boss for few hours every day or else he'll be dying from his presence, because his feelings were still gradually drowning him. However, Junmyeon's promise wasn't being fulfilled yet. Three months had passed but still, Youngjae was still working by his own. However, Hoseok tried his best to comfort and help the latter. He monitored him greatly, and he's always there for him in case of emergencies. However, problems will always interfere, especially with Youngjae's fragile feelings.

 

          It all started when Chanyeol was reported dating with his former co-star, Choi Sulli. The two of them made a hit-drama. They really fitted together and the fans went insane during the airing of their series. Youngjae doesn't watch television that much, but he knew that the drama the two of them had paired up together was rated pretty well, dominating other shows. The news spread very fast, as expected. Youngjae didn’t want to admit it, but he was a little bit jealous. However, the news was fake. Chanyeol and Sulli had blatantly denied it, even Junmyeon confirmed that the news was purely irrelevant and unnecessary. Youngjae won't deny that he's much relieved. Unfortunately, he had misjudged the series of events. Because after all, the worst was yet to come.

 

 

 

 

 

          Because Chanyeol started to bring random girls in his house, or at least he finally encountered one of his boss' hidden habits.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

          Youngjae never experienced to fall in love. Since he had no time for himself even from the beginning, being in love was the least of his priorities. Sure, he's a bookworm. During school days, he would prefer to cage himself inside the library rather than hanging outside the field filled with noisy jocks and croquettes. He loves reading classic and fantasy novels, and just like any other normal teenagers out there, he also enjoys a little bit of romance in stories. Some notable books he would love to read all over and over again are Isaac Marion's  _Warm Bodies_ and Ransom Rigg's  _Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children_ trilogy. The most exceptional for him were all of Nicolas Spark’s creations, because he could somehow related from all of the sadness beneath those novels. Call him childish or nerd but he loved all of them. Despite of his perspectives in life, he would be happy to at least experience how to love and at the same time, how also to be loved by someone else.

 

          Crushes? Oh no. He never had that. Once, he had a pretty classmate named Euijin, but the girl already had a boyfriend. Then there's a guy named Jongdae, a senior in their batch, who's not the best in terms of features but has a really great sense of humor. Other than them, no one had ever captured the lad's heart. Well... there  _was_ actually... But he won't admit it.

 

          During Youngjae's sixth month, he just got back on the mansion after buying some ingredients for the meal he will be preparing for Chanyeol. It was only six on a Friday evening, and he had still at least an hour to prepare the food. However, when he arrived, he noticed that there's clothes that were messily scattered in the living room. Some were on the sofa, some on top of the coffee table and the rest were on the floor. He was mystified, because if could remember it correctly, he had left the whole mansion neat and clean. Most important of all, he couldn't comprehend why on earth there's a bright red dress, a pair of bra and a lingerie scattered on the carpet of his boss' home, when it clear that there wasn't any woman living inside the home---

 

“O-Oh my goodness…”

 

         All of the sudden, his face went pale. His sweat turned cold and his heartbeat suddenly hastened. Could it be? The lad turned to look around his surroundings. He went to the garage to check of his suspicion was correct. When he arrived there, Hoseok was already there and the car that he always use to fetch Chanyeol was also present. Hoseok was about to greet him but Youngjae had already walked away towards the front door. Slowly, he climbed at the staircase. When he reached the third floor where Chanyeol's gigantic room was located, the pieces of jigsaw puzzle had slowly fit together one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

          Wanton moans can be heard. That wasn’t normal... One was  _definitely_ Chanyeol's and the other was a girl's voice he can't recognize. His feet went heavy, and his heart was palpitating. He shambled towards the unclosed room, and the lascivious voices were too empowering his senses. He heard Chanyeol growled and the girl sobbed in pure bliss. He felt really dizzy, but nonetheless, he kept advancing towards the room. Automatically, his feet went numb, his body was immobilized and tears unconsciously fell from his eyes at what he saw from the front door. It tuned out that what he's dreading was right. Chanyeol was all on his glory. He was on top of a random girl, and the whole room was filled with their lewd moans.

 

“Oh yes… Harder Chanyeol, harder!” The actor was ruthlessly banging the woman, and it was clear that she’s really pleased about it. Youngjae didn’t know what to do, but his heart was clenching so painfully and he can’t even properly breathe. All of the sudden, Chanyeol must have sensed his presence. The two of them had locked their gazes. The boy’s senses had finally come back, quickly wiping his tears away. Chanyeol broke the gaze as if nothing had happened and continued his sinful ministries.

 

          Slowly, Youngjae managed to turn back away from the nightmare he had just witnessed. As he walked along the long hallway towards the staircase, he could still hear the moans and all other sounds the two of them were creating. He descended to the first floor, still shocked and devastated at the same time. Call him crazy, but he was traumatized. The events were still fresh from his mind. Chanyeol ravishing the girl… The sinful sounds he had absorbed… His boss’ piercing gaze… All of them. He quickly headed to the bathroom and locked himself and for the first time in his life, he cried for a person other than his parents or family.

 

"You're really pathetic, you know?" Youngjae sniffed to himself, "You think Chanyeol will look at you the way you wanted to be? H-Hell no..." His heart was aching too much. He wanted to hurt himself for being drowned by his fantasies, by being so dumb and ambitious. He felt really fragile. He wanted to punch and hurt Chanyeol's whore, as if it would bring him to his contentment. His eyes were too red and puffy because of crying, but it didn't stop the lad from wailing silently in his despair.

 

"All of the people out there... w-why him?!" He interrogated himself. "He's so high, Youngjae! He'll never notice you! You're just a speck of dust!" He sobbed hopelessly. The pain in his throat was too much to handle, but that wasn't really the true source of his distress. He laughed bitterly before saying, "How nice of you, heart. I only use you occasionally but you never listened to me." Youngjae wanted to weep more, if he could only do that. However, he didn't realize he was too tired and he actually fell asleep on the cold floor inside the bathroom.

 

          Funny enough, Chanyeol acted so normally after that 'incident' as if nothing had happened. _'Did he even remember that night?!' 'Is he intoxicated during those times?'_ Poor Youngjae, because his boss was oblivious after all. He tried to avoid any conversation with his boss as much as possible. His greetings to him every time they meet became more shallow and disheartening, and he had become quieter than ever. Unfortunately, Chanyeol's randomly bringing of different girls inside his home didn't stop. It even went to the point that he had seen his boss shamelessly undressing himself and his girl on the living room, unbothered even if the boy was in front of them. During those times, he would just rush off towards the front yard, or in the garage to have a chat with Hoseok just to erase those haunting images.

 

          Youngjae really did try removing Chanyeol from his system. He really did a good job upon avoiding him in some circumstances, but his heart was still stubborn or 'hard-hearted', if you say. He was disgusted by himself for being hopelessly obsessed on the man. He's completely aware to the lovelorn he's suffering but failed to do an action with it. It's been months since his infatuation to the older had turned into something more. Was he really now in love with his boss? Was that even possible?

 

"No, no, no!" He screamed to himself one morning while watering the front yard. He was really not expecting the bigger picture of working under a superstar. One day he's just a guy desperate to have a work but the next day, he's now a guy desperate for love…

 

W-Wait?! Did he just admit it?

 

 

 

 

 

           _The heart really wants what it wants._

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

           Thanks to Youngjae's earnings, Heedo, his younger sibling, had finally graduated high school. His youngest dongsaeng Seonho was also near upon entering middle school and for the first time in his life, Youngjae was confident he's on the right track. He can say now that his family was now stable despite of his only laboring for a year. The salary he was acquiring was really good and he was really thankful for that.

 

          Junmyeon's promise was practically forgotten. He hadn't recruited other servants but strangely, Youngjae was okay with it. He's been so used on the labor and he had memorized the whole mansion in just one month in the back of his mind.  He had now a big dream to fulfil and prioritize. Heedo was about to enter college and he was preparing for his studies. His dongsaeng wanted to be a nurse and he was so proud for him. Their parents died because of being seriously ill and Heedo wanted to take care of his siblings as much as possible. Being a doctor even crossed his mind but he hesitated because the tuition fee was too much. Besides, he didn't want to be a burden to his hyung since he had practically provided everything for them, serving also as their father and mother at the same time.

 

          One afternoon, Kim Kai had visited Chanyeol. As usual, the singer was so bubbly and keeps on bickering Youngjae. Kai was insisting Chanyeol to accompany him to go to the nightclub to relieve their stress. At first the guy was hesitant, but when Kai muttered something about hot girls and getting laid, Chanyeol finally agreed.

 

 _'As if he hasn't been laid. He practically banged another girl last three days!'_  Youngjae internally snorted. When the two of them had finally left, Youngjae frustratingly dumped himself on the sofa and even buried his face on a random pillow where he exasperatedly screamed. Was he jealous again? Fine! He won't deny it this time. He was fuming with anger and jealousy. Did the guy even know how to behave and to control his cravings? He's so sexually active. 

 

          So instead of sulking, he made himself busy by hanging out inside the library. He re-read some of his favorite literature until the young lad decided to daydream about his future. His mind also crossed about his ‘complicated’ feelings towards his boss. He grimaced and gritted his teeth. It's been a while since Chanyeol had started bringing girls inside his mansion. Well according to Junmyeon, he really has a habit of doing it especially when the guy was stressed. It's a mundane to him and he told Youngjae that he should be used to it. What Youngjae really hated were the times he needed to change the sheets of Chanyeol's mattress. The smell was just so... well, what do you expect? The odor of alcohol, musk, perfume and sex together with Chanyeol's personal scent, it’s a hard labor for him. What worst was the sachets of used condoms that were always scattered on the floor.

 

          He was stargazing on the rooftop when he heard a loud honk coming from the front yard. He saw the gate automatically opening, and Chanyeol’s red Lamborghini was clumsily racing towards the garage. He rolled his eyes before muttering, “He’s drunk again. I’m not going to be surprised if he brought another whore inside his petty car.” He checked the time and he realized how really it was late. Hold on, did he just unconsciously wait for Chanyeol? He never did that because normally, he would already sleep inside his room after all of his work. The thought made him blushing, and to his dismay, his stomach was churning weirdly again while his heart was chanting  _‘Chanyeol! Chanyeol!’_  like a weird mantra. Hoseok went home early before evening, and Chanyeol was lucky that the police didn’t arrest him for his drunk driving.

 

          Youngjae waited on the living room like a furious mother waiting for her impotent child, and when his boss had finally ruptured from the front door, two things made him surprised. First, Chanyeol had no whore for that night. Thank god no lecherous noises will disturb him, plus the overwhelming odor on his boss’ mattress will somewhat lessen. Number two, Chanyeol was definitely drunk, but his state right now was enough for the boy to melt into a puddle. Goodness… The servant’s eyes dilated upon seeing the definition of perfection scrambling in front of him. Despite the reek of alcohol and his continuous hiccupping, he still looked hot in front of him. The first three buttons on his shirt were open, revealing some of his skin that burned the latter’s eyes. The actor attempted to crash on the sofa, but he just clumsily slipped. Although his servant had barely caught him, the two of them fell on the carpet, causing Chanyeol to be on top of Youngjae. The poor boy whimpered in pain because obviously, Chanyeol’s weight was squishing his small frame. With difficulty, the boy managed to get out from the weight of his boss’ body.

 

“This is outrageous…” He disapprovingly muttered. His boss was groaning in pain while holding his forehead as if he’s suffering a terrible headache. Finally, he helped the guy to sit on the couch. Chanyeol’s moans were really disturbing his sanity. He couldn’t fathom what he will do, but he managed to go to the bathroom to get a towel and two small basins; one filled with water while the other wasn’t. He rushed to Chanyeol’s room and fetched a clean white shirt, a pajama and to his dismay, a boxer shorts. Fortunately, his boss was still sitting on the sofa when he came back.

 

          Chanyeol was muttering some undecipherable words when the lad started to reluctantly clean him. He suddenly vomited and thanks to the empty basin, Youngjae had caught his puke just in time before it ruined the carpet. He offered a glass of water to the intoxicated man which he greedily accepted. Youngjae hesitatingly wiped a wet cloth on his boss’ body, starting from his forehead, to his lean arms up to his neck. He couldn’t really help but to swallow imaginary lumps in his throat while doing it, and he was really praying hard just to keep himself from being sane. Finally, he managed to remove his sweaty sleeves and undershirt, revealing his six-pack abs glistening with sweat, seducing him to touch those perfectly chiselled hard muscles.

 

 _‘Keep it together, Jae!’_ He internally scolded to himself. He closed his eyes and put all of his strength to wipe Chanyeol’s flawless abdomen, neglecting the tingling sensations he felt while touching his hard muscles. He quickly dressed the man with the shirt and puffed a huge amount of air. He hadn’t realized that he too was really sweating hard because of utter nervousness he’s feeling right now. Chanyeol was darkly staring at him when he returned his gaze on him. The man hiccupped and all of the sudden, he dangerously leaned in front of lad. He lustfully stared him and god knows how Youngjae became petrified on the situation.

 

“Well, well *hiccups*. Hello there, beautiful.” He salaciously whispered on the servant’s right ear. The act made the younger's skin to tingle with the sensation he had just received. Channel's one arm sneaked on his waist while the other on the back of his neck. 

 

           What he felt next was purely beyond his expectations. Chanyeol was still hungrily staring at him like a red meat when he tightened his grip on his waist. He was about to squirm away when his boss started to nuzzle his neck.

 

"Hmmm... Smells good." He hoarsely muttered, "So, so good..." He repeated. Youngjae felt his whole body tensing like a hard rock. He was starting to get dizzy with all of the unknown new sensations he's been experiencing, and his stiffening went numb when the older pressed his nose on his neck harder before pecking it with utter delight.

 

          The next thing the lad knew, Chanyeol was attacking his neck with hungry kisses. He couldn't help but to produce a mixture of moans and whimpers as the actor continued to abuse his sensitive spot. His grip on his bum and nape had strengthened, even adding more pleasure and electricity. He couldn't even think straight. Chanyeol was touching him. Was that even possible? His cloudy thoughts were abruptly stopped when his boss finally clashed his firm lips against his', making the servant's eyes to dilate. Chanyeol fiercely and hungrily kissed him. He forced him to open his mouth by just using his tongue without any difficulty. He explored the latter's mouth messily, not even minding the exchange of saliva between them. Saying Youngjae was stunned or petrified was an absolute understatement. The man finally stopped harassing his lips with a final peck and Youngjae almost fought to turn back a whine escaping from his mouth. His boss enigmatically stared again straight to his flabbergasted eyes before pressing their noses together. The scent of alcohol had also invaded the younger, but that wasn't the main reason why his world was spinning. It was obviously because the man that was straddling his waist in front of him.

 

         Without any further due, Chanyeol ravished again the younger's lips. This time, the servant couldn't take it anymore. He finally gave in to the kiss by sheepishly responding. He was so inexperienced about it, being so sloppy and all, and his boss' mouth tasted like alcohol and even a bit of vomit, but his mind was registering all of the information as a wonderful taste he had ever tasted, because the man he had always dreamed of was finally kissing him like there's no tomorrow.

 

           _The man he had always loved was finally kissing him._

 

         The latter had carried him towards his bedroom after he was tired of abusing his innocent lips. The next thing Youngjae knew, the door was harshly closed, his and Chanyeol's clothes were no longer in their respective bodies and the man was randomly trailing kisses on his body as if he was a painter painting flawlessly on a canvass. His legs were wide open and the next series of ministrations were done on his innocent body. Youngjae didn't know how many times he's been writhing, moaning, fumbling and whining beneath the intoxicated man.

 

"Ugh... Aaaah!" The lad moaned for the umpteenth time as the actor continued to abuse his spot. He had taken him unprotected, and things were getting worse for Youngjae. Chanyeol had only used his and Youngjae's saliva and his fingers to prepare him before finally claiming his virginity. A cold rush of wave hit the latter when he finally managed to register what's really happening to him.  _'This is pure absurd. Is this even real?'_  , _'Why can't I even muster a courage to stop him?' 'Why am I enjoying this?'_ The haze on his mind was too excessive, it even got gloomier and gloomier as Chanyeol's pace increased. Youngjae was too exhausted in crying because of the mixed pain and pleasure.

 

"Ugh... So fuckin tight... F-Fuck!" Chanyeol growled and in fact, the star hadn't been turned on like this before. Youngjae was unbelievably very tight and as he pounded his member deep through the boy's hole, his dreading stares he was throwing on him never failed to keep the lad from seeing stars. The wave of pleasure suddenly intensified when Chanyeol subterraneously hit him deeper, sending jolts of electricity on every inch of his body. His prostate was overly abused, and the white spots he'd seeing from his eyes were too much. However, it seemed like Chanyeol had no plan of letting him go. His thrusting never subsided, and he crashed again his lips towards the younger, kissing him deeper and deeper.

 

          The only words coming from the servant were "O-Oh C-Chanyeol... Chanyeol..." and he cannot even formulate proper words anymore, much more a simple sentence. His virginity was taken from him on the wrong timing. He had never touched his body, and all of the feelings his body was taking were all new to him. His member was painfully aching, and was mere neglected. The only sensation it was receiving was being pressed on Chanyeol's hard stomach. His belly was weirdly churning and he couldn't help but to escalate his shallow moaning even more. His lungs were burning, and he was afraid that his heart might stop beating if he continued to breathe frantically like he's been doing for a while now. Chanyeol bit his neck harshly, making the servant to even cry harder. This made Youngjae's hole to unintentionally clench, clasping the huge rod inside him. Chanyeol groaned at the act and he increased the speed of his thrusts inside the boy. He scooped the lad's pale legs on his shoulders and lowered himself to lick and gnaw his left bud while caressing and pulling the other. Youngjae was now screaming in pleasure. His voice resonated inside the whole bedroom, arousing the man on top of him even more. Despite the state of Chanyeol's mind, he was never been titillated before with anyone. Youngjae's cries and whimpers were very exceptional. Obviously, the servant's cock was agonizingly twisting. His pre-cum was too leaking to the point it reached the base of his member.

 

"I-I love you..." Unconsciously, Youngjae had mustered his words to the man. "H-Hmmm..." Was the only thing the actor had replied while staring at him with half-lidded eyes. Finally, his prostate couldn't take it anymore. He piercingly cried and messily released all of his seeds, shooting on their stomach and chest even on the other male's chin. Chanyeol had another one final roar before filling Youngjae with all of his warm cum before immediately falling on top of him while heavily panting. The man nuzzled his neck muttering, "S-So good..." He kissed his neck for the last time before finally drifting to his slumber.

 

          For a few moments, the servant's mind was still processing on what just happened. When he barely recovered, all of the emotions struck him in one shot, sending another batch of hot tears falling from his puffy eyes, wetting the top of Chanyeol's head. He had just gotten sex with his boss. He had just gotten sex with the superstar Park Chanyeol. He had just gotten sex with the person he loved.

 

 _'What have I done?'_ He miserably said to himself. His body was too much aching, and he was over-fatigued. He tried to push away his boss but with no luck, he easily gave up. The man nuzzled his nose even more on his neck and tightened the grip on his waist, making the latter to blush.

 

 _'I'm insane.'_ He sobbed,  _'You just got yourself from a great ruckus. Are you happy now, Youngjae? Your boss you are so obsessed about had finally fucked you. Congratulations, looser.'_ He continued to miserably cry while biting his fingers. He was too physically and emotionally tired, and no words can explain it anymore. Finally, his weariness had devoured him completely, joining the man on top on him he loved in the dreamland.

 

 

 

 

 

          To his luck, he was the first one to wake up after the incident. Acting like a roadrunner, he quickly jumped out of the bed despite the wave of pain attacking not only his lower abdomen, but his whole body itself. He put his clothes on and even put all of Chanyeol's scattered attire on one corner of the massive room just to avoid any suspicions. The whole room was filled with the odor of cum and sex, and films of previous events last night washed towards the servant like a heavy downpour. He shivered on the thoughts and rushed towards the farthest bathroom (the one near his small room on the first floor) before swiftly locking it. He stared on his own reflection and his whole world just crumbled. His state was so unbearable he couldn't even take to look at himself. His hair was completely dishevelled. His neck was full of bites and marks, much to the lower parts of his body where Chanyeol had ravished, sucked and took him. His ugly purple bruises were ruining his fair complexion, and his eyes were too red and swollen. The household boy collapsed on the floor. This time, he cried with all of his heart. Right now, he didn't give a care if Chanyeol would even hear him because right now, the definition of misery was mocking him again like a madman. He bit his fingers, and even tried to hit the cold floor with his palms. When his system had finally subsided from the pour of emotional stress, he wobbled painfully towards the shower. His tears were still flowing like an open faucet as the cold water started to soak him. The pain coming from his scars and bruises had intensified, but he couldn't care less. His heart was even more hurting than any part of his body.

 

          In the end, his boss didn't remember any of those moments they had accidentally shared together. Of course, the younger was hoping that he might remember some parts of their intercourse, but the alcohol washed away all of his memories on that night. Chanyeol just thought he just had a sex with a random woman that's why when he woke up he was naked. He even asked the servant if he saw the girl going out of the mansion. Youngjae said yes, but deep inside he was dying to plaster at Chanyeol's face that he had raped him.

 

 _'He didn't, you idiot. It was non-consensual at first but you easily gave in.'_ The voice inside his mind spat. He immediately silenced himself and just went inside the kitchen to distract himself when Chanyeol finally left to go to his schedules. Without even noticing, his tears were starting to pour out again. He bitterly laughed out of nowhere as he digested the situation he was stuck with. 

 

"How pathetic of me." He mumbled while sobbing. He covered his entire face with his shaky palms and leaned back on one of the kitchen counters. He remembered the first time he cried because of Chanyeol. He recognized and accepted the fact he had fallen in love with the actor during those times, but now he's still crying about him. What did he do to deserve a baleful kind of punishment? He regretted being washed away with the bait of temptation. His heart was really desiring the man even if his mind was saying the opposite of it. Chanyeol will never look at him the way he desired. Besides, what will the other male react once he discovered that he had accidentally slept with his servant? Definitely, the man will be disgusted to the point that he will fire and thrash him away from his house. What more sickening that may happen was if the media discovered about this. His carelessness will lead to a domino effect of mayhem that will probably drive the whole fanbase of Chanyeol insane. He will be the sole source of destroying the latter's reputation. In other words, he had just stained the man black with all of his selfishness and fantasies.

 

_'Are you really that desperate to him? You should be ashamed about all of your hideous actions. After accepting you as his servant and gave you a decent wage, this is the way of you repaying him? How disgusting, Youngjae. How disgusting.'_

 

 

 

 

 

He had regretted all of it. He was crazy for hoping that Chanyeol might remember even a little detail about their night. He was very appalling for being self-centered. Youngjae's drowning from his self-loathe somewhat gradually diminished when his boss left overseas for a week to shoot his upcoming movie.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

          One day, Kai had unexpectedly visited the mansion. He was baffled by the sun kissed male's sudden appearance, because he had thought the latter knew that Chanyeol was not there since he was his best friend, after all.

 

"S-Sir Kai? What are you doing here? I'm sorry to say but s-sir Chanyeol isn't here. He had left for Netherlands to shoot his new movie." He shyly explained. He even forced himself just to say the name 'Chanyeol' because every time he heard or mentioned it, his heart made weird flips despite of his current predicament. Kai, as always as ever, just brightly beamed to the servant. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck before saying, "Actually, I'm fully aware of that. In fact, I ain't here to visit him." The servant cutely tilted his head before pouting, "I-Is that so, sir? Then..."

 

"Silly, Jae. I'm here to visit you, of course." He cheerfully said as he raised his hands in the air. Youngjae's jaw dropped, still bemused about the singer's attitude. "Come on, Youngjae. Can't I even visit my friend?" Kai pouted playfully before making himself comfortable on Chanyeol's sofa. The household boy was just staring at him, still processing Kai's words inside his mind.

 

          Kai patted the empty space beside him, "Sit here, cuttie." He grinned. The younger furiously blushed before reluctantly obeying the latter. When he had finally settled himself beside the grinning singer, he felt uncomfortable on the closeness of their body. Images of Chanyeol kissing him that night abruptly invaded his thoughts and the boy immediately tensed.

 

"H-Hey. No need to become afraid. I just wanted to talk with you. That's all." Kai assured as smoothly as possible. Youngjae wasn't even responding and he was just fiddling the hem of his shirt. He was surprised when Kai suddenly grabbed his arms.

 

"Hey?! Are you all right? Why are you crying?" He worriedly questioned. Crying? He felt something hot and wet on his breeches. He hadn't noticed that he started to cry again. Kai rubbed circles on his arms but it didn't help from calming down the latter. Kai didn't hesitate to hug him. "H-Hey, it's okay." He said. Youngjae sobbed on the singer's arms while he's fondly patting his back. The servant just stayed on his arms for a moment before pulling back and wiping his eyes. "S-Sorry, sir Kai..."  He muttered. Kai didn't know if he's going to get a heartache. Seeing the state of Youngjae in front of him made Kai's heart melt. Youngjae was about to run away but Kai pulled him back on the couch. "Wait! Don't run away." He calmly said. Youngjae stared at him with wide eyes before starting to cry again.

 

          It took Kai's willpower and convincing just to make Youngjae feel better. When the servant had finally recovered, the singer had draped his one arm on his shoulders and had let him to rest on his chest. "I-I'm fallen for someone, b-but that person will never look at me the way I wanted to." Youngjae finally started. "Go on." Kai urged. "I tried all to remove him f-from my system---"

 

 _Uh oh._  He was suddenly taken aback with his words. He accidentally mentioned the word 'he' without even noticing. He swiftly look on Kai but the latter seemed not affected and was just tentatively staring at him. Hesitatingly, he continued his story, whispering the last words. "---but I-I can't remove that person out of me...  _stupid heart._ "

 

"You can't blame your heart, silly." Kai started. "You know what, love is the best thing you can ever feel in your life. It is your sweetest downfall, yet it is also your worst destruction. Pain is inevitable, Jae. Does that person know how you deeply love him?"

 

"N-No. I can't-"

 

"Then perfect. If you really want him to love you back, you just need to teach him about how precious your existence is. It's a shame that he doesn't see that you care for him, that's why you need to make a move for it. If you can't do it directly, then make him love you by showing your care and appreciation towards that lucky person." Kai smiled and flickered his forehead, "You know what, he is sure dumb. You want me to shaken up his balls for you?"

 

"W-What?! N-No-"

 

          Kai giggled and waved his hand dismissively, "Just kidding, Jae. You know what, you're cute when you're flustered or something. You should be smiling more, you idiot." Youngjae lowered his head and started to fiddle the hem of his shirt again. "K-Kai... I-I mean sir Kai-"

 

"Just Kai, please. Or you can call me Jongin if you want to." He grinned. Kai didn't want anyone calling him on his real name unless he's close or his relatives, but Youngjae ws his friend even if the latter will deny it.

 

"W-What? N-No I can't do that."

 

"Why not? Aish. Never mind. Just call me Kai, remove the formalities, okay?"

 

"O-Okay, sir Kai- I mean, Kai..." Jongin held back a chuckle before humming. Youngjae stared at him with his shy eyes for the umpteenth time before saying, "Y-You're not disgusted?" Kai tilted his head, "Huh? About what?" This time, the servant averted his eyes. "A-About me l-liking a... a guy." Kai's mouth formed an 'o' before returning to his usual cheshire smile. "Course not. Why would I? It doesn't matter who your heart desires. The important is that you are trying your best to make yourself and that person happy in good ways rather than being so indecisive and immoral." He lectured, "Besides, don't be afraid to get rejected, okay? We risk ourselves every time we fall in love. Now if you really can't take if ever that guy will stupidly reject a person like you, don't hesitate to call me, okay? I'm very willing to be a shoulder for you to lean on." He smiled. Youngjae's face was priceless after Jongin had genuinely talked to him. He didn't know that behind his sexy and bubbly personality, there was a Jongin that was very open-minded and knew how to use his own words. Youngjae was touched, and he never felt grateful than before. Kai was such an angel and he hugged the man tight. "T-Thank you, Kai." he muttered on his shoulder. He started to cry again, but this time, with utter happiness and relief because finally he found someone willing to hear out all of his grief with open arms.

 

"You are always welcome, Jae."

 

          Chanyeol's schedule was getting tighter and tighter as time passed by. Notwithstanding, he didn't expect an angel welcoming him one night when he came home very late. It was near midnight and when he entered the mansion, he saw Youngjae sleeping on his raven couch. The servant looked peaceful, and the sight somehow drained away all of Chanyeol's stress and exhaustion. That was the first time he saw the other guy sleeping. For the first time since the lad had started to work under him, he had observed the guy's features. His mouth was slightly agape and his chest was rising and falling smoothly as he breathed. The actor took heavy steps towards the sleeping lump and knelt in front of him. He examined Youngjae's face--- messed-up auburn hair, cute bottom nose and plump lips. For a split-second, he wondered how soft and kissable his lips were. His eyes trailed down on his abdomen where he saw that the servant's shirt that was slightly pushed upwards, revealing his pale stomach and belly bottom. He unintentionally swallowed an imaginary lump in his throat and licked his lips at the petite sight in front of him. He felt dizzy all of the sudden, and realized what he was doing. He hoisted upwards and immediately rushed inside his room, shaking off all the foreign thoughts that were invading his mind. Chanyeol couldn't sleep that night, because the picture of his servant soothingly sleeping was constantly disturbing his mind. 

 

          From that day on, Chanyeol couldn't help but to steal glances at the servant every time he saw him. There were times Youngjae caught him secretly staring at him, which he will avert his eyes quickly and will fake a cough. The younger shivered upon the act, but he always forced himself to just brush it off. The rare interactions they would have become even more bland and awkward because the actor started to feel peculiar every time the younger's presence was near. Everything went weird and unnatural. Pilfering glances became his routine. There were no day-offs he had that he didn't look on Youngjae's delicate moves every time he meekly did his work. He even intentionally followed him so he wouldn't even miss a single thing about his gracefulness whether on how his pale stomach was exposed every time he reached the high ceilings to vacuum them or how stunning he looked while mopping the whole living room despite of sweat. Imagine Chanyeol even hanging out on the laundry room, complaining about some shirt he couldn't find. Youngjae bemusedly and innocently search for it on the laundry basket while the star will take the opportunity to shamelessly stare straight to the servant's ass. Same goes on the pool area. He sometimes commanded Youngjae to rub his back and let him apply sunscreen on his body, enjoying the sight of the latter madly blushing while doing his  _job_.

 

          Youngjae was not dumb. He didn't want to assume, but the gazes that Chanyeol had been starting to give to him were obliterating him. There was definitely wrong about his boss. He didn't even know if he would be annoyed for the constant attention he was recently having. Kai guffawed heartily when Youngjae told him about his concern, stating, "I think that guy is starting to wake up. You just need to completely pour a bucket of cold water on him to assure his awakening."

 

          Meanwhile, Chanyeol became more aggressive in terms of sex with his whores. Saying that he was frustrated was a big, obvious and accurate observation. He's been suffering a sexual frustration and work-related stress at the same time, making his whole system to drive insane. Sure, success in his job continued to shower on his head like an endless rainfall, but in line with it were the thunderous roars of strain and pressure. Sex was only the way for him to release all of his tension and strain, but this time, it was getting more tedious and dull. He was so over with the same annoying shrieks his whores always tend to do every time he pounded them. He never slept with the same girl, by the way. The spark of getting aroused was slowly vanishing, and he was desperate to turn and search newer things to spice him up.

 

          He came home a little bit tipsy one night. He was tottering on the living room when he noticed that Youngjae was sleeping again on the couch. Immediately, his senses woke up and his eyes simultaneously shone. As usual, the servant was sleeping like an angel and the one that really made Chanyeol's legs wobble was the latter's damn shirt. Half of his stomach was revealed more than the last time he saw him drifting off. Chanyeol's fantasies on the boy from the past few weeks suddenly occupied his thoughts. Not really thinking straight, he was again kneeling in front of him in just a fraction of second. With half-lidded eyes, he fondly scrutinize the servant. He let his calloused hand to trail the milky slender arms the boy had while licking his lips. He felt really a déjà vu but this time, he didn't stop himself from touching the boy at last. However, when he attempted to caress the face of the sleeping lad, he felt something hot. He then realized that he became sober, and he placed his hand on Youngjae's forehead. He was slightly burning and he hurriedly lifted the servant's body on his arms without even hesitating. The lad barely weighted and he wondered if he was eating properly. He rushed to the brunette’s small room and placed him on the bed. Youngjae was still sleeping and the actor started to panic. He recognized that his servant was breathing too shallow and his brows were furrowed too much to his discomfort. Chanyeol never took care a sick person in his life, and he can't even take care of himself. Not knowing what to do, he scrambled to cover the younger with the blanket and went to the kitchen to snatch a glass of water and a paracetamol. He put the glass and the medicine on top of the small table beside the bed in case Youngjae woke up. He took a few steps back and he couldn't help but to stare at him. He did want to wake up Youngjae just to ensure him to injest the medicine but it would be very suspicious and awkward. Besides, he didn't know what to explain to his servant on why he was on his room.

 

          He looked around his surroundings. His eyes caught a pile of magazines that were carefully hidden under the servant's bed. When he took it, he was surprised when he saw all of his faces plastered on the periodicals. He scanned all of them and his suspicion was confirmed when all of them was indeed about him. He also saw three rolled Chanyeol posters, original DVDs of his movies and drama soundtracks and even Chanyeol merchandises such as fans, a pen and even a mini banner. His eyes suddenly landed on a small brown notebook on top of the small desk. He slowly walked closer on it and he realized it was a diary.

 

 

           He sat on the chair and with curious hands, he hesitatingly opened the diary. He knew he was indeed invading one's privacy, but his curiosity was itching him to do it. He automatically smiled upon seeing the servant's handwriting. It was very neat and easy to read, and he couldn't help but to trace his hands on every page of the notebook. The first pages were all about Youngjae's past. It was about his sufferings, his constrains, his concerns about his younger brothers and even his parent's death. Chanyeol's heart clenched. He didn't know that the boy was too suffering before he came under his supervision. He thought all about his achievements and fame. Sure, he also had encountered serious problems and issues but they were nothing compared to the latter's. He tried to sequester his feelings and continued to read the next entries.

 

**June 12, 2016**

**Dear Diary,**

  _This is it. Today is the official day that my miseries will come to an end. Well... not really that abrupt, but hey! I know I've mentioned this hundreds of times but I can't help it. I am now employed! Not only is that, but the offer on my job was just superb. Although this blessings are really great, I'm deeply nervous. Why? It's because my boss. He's the one and only Park Chanyeol._

 

          Chanyeol's lips automatically formed a smile. Brushing off his feelings, he continued to read the remaining sentences on the entry.

 

_\---He's so famous and has multitudinous admirers. I'm not a fan of him, but the thought of seeing him in person makes me to feel giddy. Anyway, I must not let my fears control me. I will do my very best for my siblings. You can do this, Jae! Fighting!_

 

The next pages were all about his job. He continued to read the next entries.

 

**August 4, 2016**

**Dear Diary,**

           _I really want to give up but I can't… I know my job is very tiring and a huge obstacle for me, but what can I do? My persistence upon making a good future for my siblings is still empowering me, so I have no right to just let go. Fighting, Jae!_

 

**November 8, 2016**

**Dear Diary,**

_I really hate when Chanyeol strolls inside the mansion topless. Could you believe it?! I mean, he's really hot and all, but can he consider that there's another person inside the house? Not that I really complain, though... I must admit, he looks like a Greek god. His physique is so perfect. No doubt why he made millions of girls crazy for him. Oh well, I really need to force myself to stop checking him out. Keep it together, Jae! You are not paid to be pervert!_

 

"I should often walk around my home topless, then. Maybe naked, I think." He pondered.

 

 

**December 25, 2016**

**Dear Diary,**

           _Today is one of my best Christmas ever despite my parent's death. Today we visited them with my siblings and offered a prayer. The next few hours, we celebrated Christmas with so much good memories. I treated my siblings with many things. We watch a movie and we all cooked together. This day was heartily spent. I'm really blessed in spite of all the challenges I had encountered. At least, I found the way to circumvent them all. Happy Holidays!_

 

          The next more entries were more intriguing for the actor.

 

**January 3, 2017**

**Dear Diary,**

           _I saw Chanyeol's new cover page on 'The Stars of All Stars' magazine. He's so hot. I can't breathe when I saw it! I know I've been denying it but... Am I infatuated to my own boss?! This is pure insanity, Yoo Youngjae! You're acting childish again! But I can't help it. The latest episode of 'City Lights' was also really lit. The make-out session of Chanyeol and Suzy... Argh... I love them as a couple on the drama but my heart was aching as I watch them doing their thing._

 

"City Lights, huh... I can't even remember how Suzy's lips tasted like. H-He's affected by it? But why?"

 

**February 12, 2017**

**Dear Diary,**

           _He brought a girl. They had sex. Chanyeol was so pleased about it. I want to hurt the girl. I cried so hard. I accidentally fell asleep inside the bathroom._

 

"W-What?" He silently exclaimed.

 

**February 20, 2017**

**Dear Diary,**

  _Another girl luckily banged by Park Chanyeol. This time, they did it on the couch. Could you believe it? Like a looser, I cried on my bed before writing this. Am I really that hopeless? Did I really fall for my boss?_

 

          The revelations were overloading his mind. He didn't even know if he would be happy or not about his servant falling for him. Sure, he's been checking him out lately but... Was we really that dumb not to notice the other's feelings? Or he was just too overworked?

 

**May 8, 2017**

**Dear Diary,**

  _Okay, fine. I admit it. I have fallen in love to my boss. Am I happy now that I have just admitted it? Sadly, things won't change whether I won't deny it anymore or not. He will be still the dazzling Chanyeol who is admired by everyone but the truth is he's likes to bang random girls. No offense for him though, but that is the truth. Still, my heart screams for his name. Very good, Youngjae... Just very good._

 

Chanyeol wanted to stop from reading. He looked at Youngjae who was still exhaustingly sleeping.  _'He has feelings for me?'_ He internally said,  _'Is that even real?'_ Still dazed on his own thoughts, he struggles to turn the remaining pages. However, the next entry shook his world.

 

**June 26, 2017**

**Dear Diary,**

  _We did it... Chanyeol and I... we had sex. I know I'm stupid enough to let him ravish and use me, but how can I even help it?! I love him and he's so drunk and needy I didn't even know what to do! His touches were to alluring and I can't even resist them. He's my first... I'm no longer virgin and I really regretted on my selfish acts. I just want the earth to swallow me. I'm so ashamed on myself... I'm so self-centered. I don't deserve all of this..._

 

 

 

 

_'M-Me... Y-Youngjae... S-Sex... M-Me and Youngjae had gotten sex together?!'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

          From that day on, Chanyeol's view on Youngjae had changed. Not in a bad way, but he couldn't describe it yet. He tried his best to keep cool like he used to be, but deep inside he was still affected. Junmyeon noticed the actor's sudden change. Sometimes he would see the guy staring out of nowhere, acting so anxious and different during his schedules. Chanyeol wanted to sort out his feelings to end his suffering. Youngjae was distracting his mind and he can't remove the petite boy outside of his system. Oh great, he had just called the servant beautiful. Was he really that pretty and attractive? Reluctantly, he closed his eyes and tried to picture again his servant. Instantly, the image of the angel appeared and his mind went crazy again. Angrily, he stormed out of the session and his feet brought him to La Désireux, the bar he always hanged out with Kai. He tried himself to get drunk but the alcohol was not bothering him at all. In fact, he was still sober and conscious after three shots of margarita, six shots of rum and five shots of whiskey. Still fuming in anger, he harshly grabbed a random girl and kissed her as hardly as possible. To his dismay, image of him kissing Youngjae instead appeared inside his mind. Shocked, he pushed the girl away and went outside and rode his car. He didn't realize how long he had stayed inside the bar because it was already night when he left. He safely reached his home and went straight inside the house. He dashed inside the kitchen and his heart stopped beating when he saw Youngjae. The lad was on the floor sitting while scrubbing the floor. He wore a bandanna on his head and looked sweaty and hot and all but to the actor's eyes... he just melted.

 

          The household boy's eyes dilated upon seeing his boss in front of him. He was oblivious about the turmoil of the other male, "S-Sir Chanyeol! I didn't know you're here now! I'm sorry sir I haven't yet prepared your dinner... Oh, and also about this mess... I accidentally spilled the cream on the floor. F-Forgive me for ruining your kitchen-"

 

 

 

 

 

          He didn't manage to finish his sentence because in a thunderstruck motion, He was already leaning back at one of the counters while he was locked on Chanyeol's firm arms. The actor was intently staring at him and the scent of alcohol went through the younger's nose.  _'Uh oh.'_  Chanyeol leaned dangerously close on his left ear. "How dare you to look like that. Being so innocent and sexy at the same time."

 

"W-What-" He didn't manage to finish his sentence because Chanyeol had started kissing his neck. Eagerly licking and sucking it, Youngjae felt cold and numb.  _Déjà vu_. Was he going to get laid again? The actor continued to harass his neck. He pulled over the cloth, revealing his milky shoulder. He hungrily placed kisses on his clavicle, tracing kisses up to his Adam's apple. When he reached his chin, he slowly pulled back and faced the flustered boy. Right now, he couldn't comprehend what he's doing because his mind was only screaming  _'Youngjae... Youngjae...'_ He wrapped his arms on his waist and let their foreheads to touch together. He lustily stared at the other's confused eyes before pecking his plump lips. His grip on Youngjae's waist tightened and he finally clashed their mouths together, kissing him desperately and hard. Youngjae's lips tasted heavenly and the actor just wanted to abuse it until it bruised. He bit his lower lip, making the other whimper in pain. He took the opportunity to let his tongue invade his hot cavern. Their tongues gyrated together as he tasted the wonderful boy in his arms. He was fully aware about the situation, and he suddenly wondered about the first time of them having sex. If that thought was really true, how could he miss the succulent taste of his servant's lips? How could he miss his beauty and wonder? He even got wild after having his thoughts and harshly carried the boy, not breaking their hot session. Indistinctly, Youngjae wrapped his legs on the actor's waist. He tried to let himself free, but he had no match against the latter's strength.

 

"S-Sir-"

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm going to fuck you, Youngjae" He said while furiously panting, but the blaze in his eyes were still aggressively flaring,  _"I'm going to fuck you so hard that you won't even properly walk for a week."_

 

          And just like that, Chanyeol and Youngjae had their second time. Chanyeol made sure that it was memorable this time, because the fact that he can’t remember the first time they did it together thanks to the influence of alcohol. Chanyeol instantly developed an extraneous desire and lust on the servant, the things he was keeping for a while.

 

 _His servant._ The thought of possessing the angel made his' heart to unnaturally twitch. Meanwhile, Youngjae was too dumbfounded to process on the tumultuous scenario he became involved about. Reckoning the situation was a major migraine for him, and the events were too fast to process.

 

          After that incident, it was unnecessarily followed by many more. Chanyeol would now eager to go home (and sometimes one hour earlier than before), impatiently hunting down the lad. Once he tracked his target, he will snatch him like an eagle hunting for its prey and will immediately attack him with kisses, regardless on the area where he will find him. He will vigorously rip their clothes off and things will run just like what he wanted. Some of those nights he will hungrily thrust inside his servant until he spills all of his cum inside him. He will pepper with kisses the amazing masterpiece beneath him and lets him cry his name until he falls asleep. On his days off, instead of lounging on the pool area, rooftop or inside the gym, he would rather interrupt Youngjae on his errands. Smooching the latter's neck and shoulders became now a thing for the superstar. His eager hands never felt so addicted on the guy's smooth and delicious skin and every time he came in contact with him, he never fails to send sparks of electricity on his veins. Some days he turns the innocent angel into a ravaging mess, or sometimes when he's on the good mood to treasure him, he tries to make their intercourse  _vanilla_ as much as possible.

 

          One day Youngjae was nervously putting the dirty laundry inside the washing machine. The lad became more cautious and anxious about his surroundings, afraid that Chanyeol might ambush him again. He was still astonished about the sudden turn of events.

 

"This dream is too much to handle. When will I wake up?!" He miserably swore. He tried to pinch his right arm hard, resulting by only yelping on his own antic. He wasn't dreaming, and the he again kept on denying about the reality. He was turning the knob of the machine when he felt a pair of arms wrapping on his waist, followed by series of wanton kisses on his neck. Judging from the hard member pressing against on his bum, he was sure anathematized. Chanyeol purred on his nape, frosting his legs on the floor. His boss sneaked his one arm inside his shirt and started to rub random shapes on his tummy, even teasing his navel by inserting a finger inside it while his one arm was tracing various lines on his waist. His breath automatically became constricted as Chanyeol continued his ministrations. Still acting like a stone, the actor triumphantly lifted his servant on top of the washing machine. Immediately he wasted no time to capture his lips and the younger's legs reflexively locked on his waist. He rubbed their bodies together, causing the both of them to moan. The vibration under Youngjae's butt was not helping his arousal at all. Chanyeol stared deep on him before violently pulling his shirt off, followed by the lad in front of him. Youngjae didn't had the time to protest because Chanyeol was now attacking his clavicle and neck. He pecked the servant first before sucking his now-erected nipple while harshly pulling the other one.

 

"Mine!" He growled before biting his neck. The servant yelped in pain, but the actor didn't even stop on his mantras. Not taking it anymore, he instantly tore Youngjae's remaining clothes. The cold air made the servant tremble for a while until he felt a sharp pain on his hole. The man was impatiently fingering him with his index finger. He threw his legs on his shoulders for him to have a better access and rapidly started to rim him. The contact of Chanyeol's sinful tongue and sharp teeth instantly pooled him with desire. His own member was erecting too painfully and it seemed the actor had sensed his distress because he started to pump his with his free hand as he continued to eat him up.

 

          It never took too long for Chanyeol to fuck him. "C-Chanyeol...Mhhhmm... Arrggh!" He moaned. He was helpless on the floor beside the washing machine as his boss thoroughly thrust inside him. His one hand was covering his mouth when Chanyeol shoved it away. "D-Don't do that." He mumbled between his heavy breathing, "I want to see your pretty face." Chanyeol hastened his pace, as he felt his climax knocking inside him. No long after, they were both screaming in pleasure as they came together. As usual, Youngjae too messily spilled his orgasm on their bodies as the actor filled him up in pure bliss. He collapsed on top of the whimpering servant, not minding the sticky substance cascading between their abdomens. The machine beside them was still spinning, mixing up with their panting sounds that were only reverberating inside the room.

 

          Chanyeol pulled the younger closer in his arms, "That was hot... Thank you." He mumbled on top of his head. Youngjae didn't stir, still stunned and exhausted. After few moments, the star carried the younger in his arms and when straight inside the bathroom and cleaned their bodies together. After dressing up, that was time when things get awkward. Chanyeol just left him there without any word. After recovering, Youngjae motionlessly went back inside the laundry to dejectedly return his errand. A tear fell from his eye as he watched the halting of the washing machine.

 

          ' _He used you again.'_ He heartbreakingly fumbled. He sat beside the machine and pulled his legs as he silently cried, grieving again for his actions.

 

          Youngjae would be lying to himself if he wanted to stop Chanyeol from having sex with him. No matter how stupid his fantasies were, he was still hopelessly in love with his boss. He tolerated all of the actor's actions, because he felt like living inside all of his dreams. Chanyeol will never look at him the way he wanted, but he will not stop from willingly offering his own body just to satisfy the star's needs.

 

         Simultaneously, Chanyeol's bewilderment failed to diminish. Since things started to grow between him and his servant, he stopped hanging out on La Désireux and also from bringing girls inside his home. He was fully aware that he badly yearned Youngjae even though deep inside, he just don't sexually want him, but something else more. He never felt this feeling towards another guy before and the sensations were too strange for him, but in the best way it was.

 

"Is it normal to feel too possessive towards a person?" He questioned Sehun one time when he visited him on their family home. He badly needed answers, and he just forced himself to go outside during his day-off instead of bedding his angel.

 

"Are you dumb? Of course, no." Chanyeol scratched his head in embarrassment.

 

"O-Okaaay... So what does it mean?" He meekly asked. Sehun stared him with his  _are-you-that-dumb-look._  It took all of his own willpower not to respond sarcasticallybefore answering, "It's simple. You are stupidly in love with that person."

 

 _'Does that mean I'm turning gay...?'_ He thought a bit loud. "What?" Sehun asked. Chanyeol's eyes went wide and laughed awkwardly, "N-Nothing!"

 

          To observe his suspicions, he tried to check out other guys. Kai was hot but too loud. Sehun, his half-brother was good-looking but too sarcastic.  _'Ewww!'_ He belched. How come he thought of his brother?! He tried his other co-stars and other male friends, but nope. They weren't attracting at all. For him, they were just a bunch of dickheads like him.

 

"Wait... What did I say?!"

 

          However, this one particular effeminate guy was still driving him crazy. How come he's not bumped by the other guys but Youngjae... He's like a drug to him. Was that even possible? Nevertheless, he still turned into a beast every time he saw his servant. He's powerless against his desires, and will always end up Youngjae moaning beneath him. Their sex turned more intimate as time passed by. Although the monster was still occupying Chanyeol, he somehow found a way to finally control it. He stopped ravaging the boy randomly inside the mansion. He started to bed him properly and as consensual as possible. It was hard not to be rough to the other male, but when he managed to control himself, those were the times when he can cherish their moments.

 

          Although he had mentioned and admitted the fact on the back of his mind multiple times, Yoo Youngjae was gorgeous. He's so innocent and so shy every time Chanyeol offered to kiss and stroke his member for him. He didn't find weird touching the servant. In fact, it pleased him to see Youngjae moaning in bliss, not in pain. He felt guilty and in vain for hurting him for his own good. Sex was only the time he can properly talk to him so he tried he best to sooth him with words like  _'It's okay.'_ ,  _'Am I being too hard/rough?'_ ,  _'You look really beautiful'_ or  _'Don't get to shy.'_

 

So, among all of his confessions, one question was still left unanswered.

 

 

 

 

 

_"Am I really in love with my servant?"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

         The two of them finally found comfort on each other's arms. Despite the lack of words exchanged during their intimate moments, they learned the hard way. It was better if Chanyeol was the only one praising him. Youngjae didn't know if he would be enthralled on the fact that months had passed since Chanyeol brought his last whore. Was replacing them made the situation better? He didn't know. The comfort of Chanyeol's touch and kisses were too reassuring to let things disturb him.

 

          Unfortunately, drama is unavoidable. Drama is essential. Drama is freakin' stressful. Things just got bad when Jiyeon discovered their interesting  _'situation'._

 

It was another ordinary day-off for Chanyeol. Youngjae woke up on his master's king-sized bed when he felt a series of tickling sensations on his neck. As usual, Chanyeol was needy and badly wanted a morning sex. The room still smelled sex after two rounds of intimacy last night, and their clothes, with the exemption of Youngjae's thin fabric shirt, were still scattered on the floor, neglected. Chanyeol developed an unnecessary kink by always seeing Youngjae only on his shirt on while pounding deep insidehim. His already aching cock was badly pressed on the lad's lean stomach and was begging for attention. Youngjae felt a blush creeping on his face as his boss pecked on his lips and fondly stared to him. "Good morning." He hoarsely greeted. He leaned and passionately kissed him as he rub their members together, receiving early delicious friction. His lips automatically formed a grin between their kisses when Youngjae shyly wrapped his arms around his neck.

 

          His servant lusciously moaned when he entered a finger inside his still-wet hole. Youngjae stared at him with half-lidded eyes while still blushing furiously. He sensually fingered the servant while his free hand was stroking his angel's cute cock. Youngjae's moans instantly increased when Chanyeol entered inside him with his huge member, groaning in delight.

 

"H-How come you're still sooo tight after last night's events?" He murmured, barely even lucid. Youngjae wrapped his legs on the actor's waist and closed his eyes.

 

"So beautiful..." Chanyeol said. He took Youngjae's left nipple inside his mouth as he played the other one.

 

 

 

 

          He was licking and kissing Youngjae's neck when things went wrong. "Oppa! I have called you many times but you weren't--- holy crap!" The door went open, revealing his sister. Her face went cold when she saw the state in front of her, and Youngjae scrambled in fear as he pulled the sheets to cover his naked body. Chanyeol turned his head as calmly as possible towards his sister.

 

"Do you even know how to knock?" He demanded.

 

 

 

          Jiyeon was enraged. She was walking back and forth in front of her oppa in the living room while lecturing him. Youngjae was just standing near them, nervously fiddling the hem of his shirt.

 

"I was repeatedly calling you because father is already home and inviting us to come but you never pick up! Then after seizing here  _this_ kind of scenario I will see?!" She angrily retorted before throwing death glares towards the trembling servant.

 

"My phone was shut off."

 

"Exactly! And you're busy fucking as usual! But I never realized... God! Out of all people, why him?! When did you started bedding guys?!" She disgustingly pointed towards Youngjae.

 

"Shut up, Jiyeon! Are you just going to lecture me?! Get the hell out of here!" He bellowed. Youngjae flinched on the commotion and started to weep. He was now badly stuck on a dangerous situation. Was that the end of it? Was he going to lose his job? Jiyeon went straight in front of him. The girl was staring daggers and it didn't help the lad to hold back a whimper. She raised her hand before spatting, "You disgusting faggo--t-"

 

          He waited for the pain to come but it never did. When he opened his eyes, he saw Chanyeol harshly pulling back the arm of his own sister.

 

"Don't. You. Fucking. Dare. Lay a hand on Youngjae!" He ferociously growled. Jiyeon went numb and was stunned upon her brother's act. Chanyeol went to Youngjae's direction and immediately cupped his face. "A-Are you alright?" He said. Youngjae's cries turned into a sob as the pricking of pain in his heart intensified. Chanyeol attempted to hug him but he pushed him away. The next thing the actor knew, Youngjae was running towards the front door.

 

"Y-Youngjae wait!" He called. Without even hesitating, he run towards the direction of the lad. When he arrived the front yard, he was already gone, leaving his heart deeply broken. With a heavy heart, he dejectedly shambled towards the porch where Jiyeon was standing.

 

"Leave him alone. He doesn't even deserve to step his foot here." Jiyeon said. The actor didn't respond as he continued to enter the front door. Jiyeon followed him in annoyance, "What's up with you, oppa?! Are you out of your mind?!"

 

"You made him go away!"

 

"And so what?!!! Why are you acting this way?!"

 

"You destroyed his feelings!"

 

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!"

 

 

 

 

 

"I LOVE HIM!"

 

          Jiyeon went cold. She stared on her brother, only to be finding that he was now crying. "I love him, Jiyeon. And look what you've done." He helplessly crumbled on the floor and continued to sob. Jiyeon never saw he brother like that before. Despite of his success, Jiyeon knew that his older brother was an asshole when it comes to relationships. She didn't know that love can even make a mighty Park Chanyeol to helplessly weep. With shivering body, Jiyeon knelt in front of her sibling, "I'm sorry, oppa." She said. She wrapped her arms around the male and rubbed circles on his back as he continued to cry in agony.

 

          To his despair, Youngjae went straight to his home. Heedo was surprised to see his brother standing in front of their apartment unit, crying miserably and only dressed on his pyjamas. Chanyeol did everything to find him. He tried every possible location that the lad may be, but he was hopeless. Finally, he demanded Junmyeon to give him Youngjae's application form. Not caring that he might attract attention to the public, he quickly searched for his address and went straight towards there. Heedo opened the door and was starstruck at the sight of Park Chanyeol standing at the threshold. "Excuse me, is Yoo Youngjae in there?" Heedo just absentmindedly nodded his head and pointed his brother inside. "H-He's right there, s-sir..."

 

          The apartment was obviously small. Youngjae's body was petrified upon seeing his boss inside his flat. As usual, he was still dazzling as ever, but the worried look in his eyes made the younger to come back from his senses.

 

"Youngjae." He started. "I've been searching you for a while. When are you planning to go back?" His master brokenly stated. Youngjae's heart painfully throbbed, and he couldn't help but to sigh. The whole atmosphere was awkward because Heedo and Seonho were watching them with curious eyes.

 

"Please come back, Youngjae. I miss you."

 

          To Youngjae's dismay, rain started to heavily fall. Sure, the actor had a car, but he maliciously insisted to just stay inside the Yoo residence. Youngjae was very worried, of course, and didn't how to accommodate him.

 

"I'm just going to sleep on the living room... You can stay on my room." He stated once his brothers were peacefully sleeping. Chanyeol remained standing on his place as he watched Youngjae who’s preparing the couch.

 

"S-Sir... My room is just right there. You may go inside now." He said without even looking at him. Chanyeol didn't move on his place. When Youngjae finally averted his gaze towards him, he realized it was just a big fatal mistake. Chanyeol was staring at him hungrily. The moment they locked eyes together, his boss lecherously grinned before grabbing his body without any difficulty and clashed their lips together. God knows how Chanyeol had missed his heavenly lips, and in just a few moments, the servant didn't even realized that they were already inside his room. Chanyeol removed the last pieces of their clothing before hungrily kissing him again.

 

"F-Fuck... I missed you." He cried. Yes, he was really crying. Youngjae unconsciously cupped his master's face and kissed his tears away. "I-I thought I might lose you."

 

"I-I'm here..." He replied. Chanyeol stared at him for a bit before sadly smiling, "You don't hate me, do you?"

 

          Hate him? The thought made him to bitterly chuckle. Youngjae hating Chanyeol? That's one of the most absurd thing that will ever happen. "H-Hate you? I would never... as in never hate you..." Chanyeol kissed his nose and philtrum, grinning goofily as his tears keep on wetting the younger. "I felt really empty without you." He genuinely said.

 

          Chanyeol's words were too comforting to him. He acted much like he was... well, in love with the boy. Continuously peppering him with kisses all over his face and neck, Chanyeol grounded their bodies together. When he lifted his face up to stare on his eyes, his expression had completely changed.

 

"You made me too insane for my liking. It's time for a little punishment for you, baby."  He seductively whispered before pecking his lips and roughly pushing two instant fingers inside him.

 

 

 

 

 

          That night, Youngjae made a good job on constraining all of his loud moans and cries as the man of his life sensually thrust deep inside him for two rounds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

           Truly, love is beautiful, but for two stupid people that were keep on denying their feelings towards each other, how can they achieve their happy ending? Chanyeol was too tired of denying his feelings. He already knew that Youngjae resided feelings for him, but why was that he was still afraid to finally confess to him? Was it about his career? Was he afraid that people might discover about them? Was he afraid about the responses? No, he wasn't really that afraid to the judgmental eyes of the others. He was stupidly afraid that Youngjae might not accept his feelings and might run away again.

 

          The consequences were too overwhelming, he was too sure for it. But he wanted to give his heart a chance. He made a simple set-up on his rooftop. His friends helped him to make the place romantic and was freaking really nervous when he led Youngjae there. For a few moments, the servant was bemused about the set-up. Slowly, the pieces of jigsaw puzzle finally had fitted together, and when he turned on his back, he saw Chanyeol, dressed very nicely in a black coat and tie suit with a really nice blue necktie and was smiling nervously in front of him.

 

"D-Do you like it?" He asked. Slowly, Youngjae nodded his head and his heart started to palpitate. He looked again around his surroundings. The elegant table was nicely set, and the sunset was breathtakingly beautiful. Romantic songs were played, and on top of the table, there was a red candlelight lighting the area. Chanyeol coughed to grab his attention. Still dazed and perplexed, he turned around and almost passed away when he saw Chanyeol in front of him, holding a bouquet of red roses in his hands. He graciously gave it to him and the younger confoundedly accepted it. He guided him towards the table and helped him to sit like a gentleman he was. When he finally settled himself in front of the puzzled servant, he cleared his throat and started to sing:

 

 _When I close my eyes,_  
_I see those eyes_

 _My heart kept aching,_  
_So I wanted to forget_

 _If this is a dream, please let me wake up_  
_Are you really my destiny?_  
_Falling you_

 

He sincerely stared straight through his warm brown orbs as he passionately continued to sing.

 

 _Like destiny, falling_  
_You’re calling out to me, calling_  
_I can’t escape_  
_Please hold me_

 _Are you the line of my fate?_  
_Are you the one I’ve been waiting for?_  
_Why is my heart sinking?_

 _(Stay with me)_  
_Are you living_  
_Deep in my heart?_  
_(Stay with me)_  
_The truth hidden in me_

 

Youngjae was now crying in front of him. Chanyeol smiled reassuringly as he wiped his tears away. Nevertheless, his deep, soothing voice still continued to fill up the surroundings.

 

 _When I close my eyes,_  
_I see those eyes_

 _My heart kept aching,_  
_So I wanted to forget_

 _If this is a dream, please let me wake up_  
_Are you really my destiny?_  
_Falling you_

 _My heart is racing_  
_I’m still looking at you_  
_Because I keep running out of breath_

 _I’m still watching over you_  
_From far away_  
_Why am I being like this?_

 _When I close my eyes,_  
_I see those eyes_

 _My heart kept aching,_  
_So I wanted to forget_

 _If this is a dream, please let me wake up_  
_Are you really my destiny?_  
_Falling you_

 

 

 

"I love you, Youngjae." He finally said. He didn't notice that he was tearing up too, and Youngjae was still sobbing in front of him. Sincerely releasing those three words, it was such a huge relief. Finally, he became honest. He had decided to give the rhapsody his heart deserved. He finally had the courage to man up and confess his feelings to the person he loved. He stood up and crashed his body against the latter for a bone-crushing hug. Youngjae continued to sob on his chest as gently patted his back. He kissed the top of his head as he muttered soothing words to calm him down. The servant helplessly hit his chest, "Don't do this to me." He sobbed, "D-Don't hurt me like this..."

 

"I-I'm serious, Jae... I love you." He tightened his hug. For a moment, the servant was flailing in his arms but he didn't give up as he tried to calm him down. When Youngjae finally looked up, he wasted no time to lovingly kiss the lad until he finally stopped thrashing.

 

"I love you." He repeated for the third time. He consecutively pecked the younger's lips, until Youngjae had finally the guts to silence him up. "I-I love you too..." He self-consciously muttered. Chanyeol's heart skipped a victorious beat. He cupped his servant's face as he stared deep straight to his orbs. "I want to hear it again. Please, baby. Say it again."

 

"I-I love you..." He repeated. Chanyeol wanted to scream out loud in utter joviality, so he did it. With shaking hands, he pulled his lover towards his body and kissed him again. "I love you, Youngjae. I love so much... I love you so much. I feel like I'm the happiest man in the world."

 

          That night, they made love. They were finally lovers, and the both of them were very happy. Youngjae, as usual as ever, had a hard time on processing the turn of events. He can't believe it. He felt like dreaming again. Well, if this was really a dream, he didn't want to wake up. Chanyeol made sure his lover will see stars as they made love. Their bodies fit perfectly together, and the synchronization of their movements enlightened the deep burning passion of their love for each other. The two of them cried, muffled, moaned and pleasured each other together, until they both reached the zenith of their love making. The actor filled his lover with his warm seeds, and the two of them were in cloud nine. "I love you, Youngjae." He said before pressing another kiss on the servant. Youngjae shyly nuzzled his head on the actor's neck before whispering, "I-I love you too..." The two of them slept together, smiles painted on their faces.

 

 

 

 

 

          It took longer for Youngjae to finally adjust. Since that day, Chanyeol spoiled him with so much affection, and making love was always a thing for them. Youngjae rarely used his own small room on the first floor for he now always sleeped beside Chanyeol since they always make love. He was still shy to initiate kisses and even cuddles. Nonetheless, the actor found it cute and pretty. Jiyeon apologized to the servant about her behavior the last time they crossed their paths, and was happy for her brother finding at last the person who can weaken his Achilles ‘heel.

 

Unfortunately, their relationship was hidden. Chanyeol didn't mind even if the whole world discovered that he's dating his own household boy. He was afraid that people might hurt his Youngjae, and will curse and spit judgmental words towards him. Chanyeol can endure all of those things, but he can't take the fact that the others were hurting the person he loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

          Chanyeol never believed that true love exists until he met the person named Yoo Youngjae. For him, he's a blessing that he will never let go. Youngjae changed his whole life. He never expected that the person that will bring him in state of euphoria was only near him and in fact, also worked under him. Truly life challenges people. He was thankful for his fortunate destiny, and was proud to have Youngjae as his lover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

          Youngjae was never been happy since his parents passed away. His simple life was never been luxurious, and he never had the chance to attain a stable life. However, life had great plans ahead for him. He had a great job. His brother Heedo was now on college thanks to all of his hard work. Seonho was doing great in his school, and most of all, he had an amazing boyfriend named Park Chanyeol--- South Korea's superstar and the outstanding actor all of time. Life sure wasn't perfect, but with the presence of your loved ones, people can achieve the imperfectly perfect life they can desire to have.

 

 

 

 

 

 

          They say everything is possible and even the least likely to happen will become true if you keep on believing. Never stop believing. Who knows? Maybe someday, your dreams will finally come true.

 

 

 

 

 

_"We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that's why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I'll never forget a single moment of it."_

**~ Nicholas Sparks**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for Reading >_< Christmas Special will be posted soon.


	2. Special Chapter (Christmas Special) [Part One]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last. This went overboard so I need to cut this down to two parts >_< Enjoy the first part!
> 
> Word Count: 24.5K words

"Uh oh... I think it's unnecessary."

 

          Chanyeol smiled and wrapped his arms around the waist of his lover. The morning breeze was still making Youngjae sleepy, but the warmth of the actor enveloping him was just the right amount to make him comfortable at the place where the two of them were currently settled. The lovers were standing at the balcony, just enjoying each other's company while gazing the beautiful sunrise in front of them. Chanyeol kissed his nape and hummed, "And why is that, baby? I just want to know them better. After all, they are your family." He resumed trailing a series of never ending kisses to the boy who was already feeling giddy on his touch.

 

"I-I don't know... Heedo's busy on the university while Seonho is a bit naughty despite of his age. I-I don't think we may ever find a possible time-" The actor silenced his lover with a kiss. He chuckled internally, seeing how flustered his cute boyfriend was.

 

          It has been few months since the two of them started dating. It was indeed a phantasmagoria turned into reality for him. The reality never sank to his system, heck, how would it even be? Dealing poverty was evidently hard for the latter that's why the sudden turn of events really shook his complicated world. Youngjae grew up miserable and full of anxieties, that's why it's normal for the lad to overthink at that moment. As the wind got stronger, chilling his alabaster skin, he couldn’t help but to think how time had greatly passed by. He was just no one, helplessly searching for a job that could feed his siblings’ churning stomachs. The gradual yet very unbelievable change of events were awe-inspiring, and these jiffs seemed like they only happened yesterday.

 

         Chanyeol sneaked his one arm inside his shirt which made him squeal. His face became automatically red as tomato and before he could even protest, Chnayeol stole another kiss on his luscious lips. Youngjae moaned a little and Chanyeol took the sign as a chance to slip his own tongue inside his wet cavern, exploring it with such intensity as he poured all of his love to the latter. Their tongues fiercely danced together, saliva starting to feverishly pour from the younger’s mouth. The actor tightened his grip on his waist using his free arm while the other was crawling dangerously on his sensitive skin. Youngjae couldn't help but to produce another moan as they kissed, "Mngghh..."

 

"Hey." Chanyeol grinned. His boyfriend looked so shy and flustered the sight made his heart flutter with so much warm emotions. He rested his forehead against the boy, "Don't worry, okay? It would be amazing, trust me. Besides, it's Christmas. I want to celebrate it with your family." Chanyeol brushed his locks before pecking his forehead, "Love you, baby."

 

Youngjae wasn’t buying it, still concerned about something, "B-But... How about your family, C-Chanyeol? You should be celebrating the holiday with them, n-not me..." Youngjae mumbled. He barely even managed to come up with his words because his boyfriend was already busy giving his neck with sloppy kisses. Chanyeol blew a raspberry on his clavicle before facing him with a smile, "I always celebrate Christmas with them. I think it will be okay for them if I miss just this year. My siblings and my father will surely understand that."

 

          Youngjae pouted, another moan went out from his mouth when his lover started to grind his body against him, "B-But, I insist... Christmas should be celebrated with your family---"

 

"Baby." Chanyeol cut him off. He stopped doing his ministrations before looking directly on his boyfriend’s eyes, "You're special to me now." He stated with a firm tone. Youngjae almost melted on his position. He bit his lips before looking down. How Chanyeol’s words could had that kind of huge impact to him? He suddenly felt emotional and teary. The mental struggle he had been bearing for the past years were unbearable and the sudden flow of foreign emotions will still take a huge amount for him to adjust. Chanyeol panicked when he heard his lover sobbing that's why he immediately hugged him, "B-Baby what's wrong?! Did I say something wrong?!"

 

          The lad shook on his grip. He turned his gaze straight to his eyes before wrapping his arms on his neck, eyes glistening with fresh tears. Chanyeol couldn't help himself but to admire his lover's features. He always got petrified every time they stared in each other's orbs. His angelic face was perfect, but the tears flowing from his eyes made his heart to painfully clench. He quickly wiped his tears before kissing him on his eyes, the salty taste of the beads were still lingering. Youngjae grabbed his nape before smashing their lips together, kissing him with such intensity and passion. When they separated from the kiss, Chanyeol was goofily grinning because of the impulsive act of his lover. Youngjae rested on his arms as he sheepishly nuzzled on his neck, mumbling a ‘Thank you’ to the taller.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I love you so much, you know that?”

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

            Having a set that was obligated to strictly finish for fourteen hours straight was constantly a mundane for Chanyeol since he never got a long vacation, unless his dramas will be finished earlier than the deadline, anyway. Chanyeol just finished his day with another episode despite the holiday season was gradually coming. He was near from drifting off, clearly drained and his body was just demanding for him to just go to his bedroom and sleep. Beneath the heavy layers of his make-up were dark circles appearing under his eyes. Being a famous actor required all of his time and effort, and the curse that was included from it was always consuming him, little by little. The life of being a superstar had no exemptions, a price that he was paying, although unpleasant, it was still worth it. He just couldn’t think anymore, he badly wanted to see his adorable boyfriend, cuddle him and pepper him with kisses until they sleep together even though they had only seen each other yesterday. The thought of seeing Youngjae just boosted the remaining energy he had that night.

 

            Hoseok drove him back to his mansion and he was so thankful for the existence of his personal driver because he didn’t know if he still had the strength to drive himself after his hellish schedule. It was already past midnight, and he still had a couple of photoshoots to be accomplished early in the morning. Junmyeon could be sometimes annoying, because he had a habit of filling up the actor’s schedule without even notifying him. Sometimes he needed to finish his schedules straight without even eating or having a break. Despite of his internal protests, he never let anyone see his distress--- not his fans, his siblings, heck, he even despised showing it to Youngjae.

 

Forcefully dragging his almost lifeless body on the foyer, he noticed that there was still a faint light coming from the living room. Usually, Youngjae was already asleep during wee hours but his boyfriend must had waited for him until he arrived. The lad usually slept right after doing his work even when they weren’t dating each other yet, so why there was a small source of light coming from the living room?

 

            His feeling was confirmed when he saw his angel lying on the couch, the exact position that the boy was in was the same the first time he tried to appreciate and admire his innocent features. He still remembered that moment, he was also awfully frazzled but still barely awake. The only difference was that the boy was  _hardly_  awake, eyes almost fluttering into a deep slumber but he keep on fighting against Hypnos’ magic just to make himself conscious.

 

The sight captured his breath and he couldn’t help himself but to contentedly smile, although he didn’t like the idea that his boyfriend had sacrificed his own energy just to wait for him. Moreover, he didn’t even know the reason why.

 

“C-Chanyeol?” The boy immediately bolted from his position when he saw the actor standing few meters away from him. He wiped his eyes like a child before muttering, “O-Oh. I thought you’re going to stay overnight for your set.”

 

            Chanyeol felt a pang in his heart. He was so busy he even forgot to give a single text message to the boy who was not even aware whether he will stay too late or not.  _Stupid_ , he thought. He approached his lover before giving him a longing kiss on his lips. The lad suddenly felt electricity creeping on his nerves, jolting him up from his lethargic state. Chanyeol deepened his kiss as he quickly swooped him using his arms without having any difficulty. In just a quick spun of time, the boy was already sitting on his lap. Youngjae squirmed a little when the actor crashed his lips against him, eagerly poking his tongue against his lips. Chanyeol shamelessly licked the insides of his wet cavern upon having the permission to do it so, arms firmly holding his hips.

 

            The actor smirked at the work of art he had created that was clearly manifested on the blissful face of the lad after their face had parted, although Youngjae was shyly biting his lower lip. He tightened his grip on his waist before crushing again their lips together, not even giving Youngjae the chance to recover. Leaving no choice, his boyfriend submissively responded in his kisses as the actor’s hands started to slip inside the thin layer of shirt the boy was wearing, caressing his skin with so much spark, making the younger shudder from the touch. Chanyeol pulled a little back before trailing his lips on his forehead, then to his nose and down to his neck where things started to become heated. Youngjae felt his life force getting sucked and he let a breathy moan when his lover started to lick and plant smooches on his neck.

 

“Ungh… I miss you so much.” Chanyeol dangerously whispered on his ear before licking and nibbling it, “I want you so much, baby.” Chanyeol stared directly in his eyes that were full of love before resuming back to his business in marking his neck. He pushed the younger back on the couch so he can completely hover above him, his lips never leaving his succulent neck.

 

“So beautiful…” The actor admired the gorgeous boy beneath him who was fidgeting and breathless, panting in ecstatic pleasure. His caramel orbs were so hazy, and his cheeks were tainted with the color of crimson red. The actor lifted his shirt until it exposed his milky abdomen and wasted no time blowing an amount of air on his navel before touching it. Another moan escaped on his boyfriend’s lips, increasingly stimulating his senses. His fatigued body was practically reenegrized because his mind was starting to get blank and pumping in arousal, leaving nothing but only being clouded with lust and the idea of taking his lover which seemed liked forever since the last time they had made love.

 

            Chanyeol licked his navel and stomach, sucking every inch of his pearly white skin. He trailed his lips with sloppy kisses upwards, mapping the boy’s body like it was his own territory. He raised his shirt a little bit more to reveal his hardened nipples. He licked his lips upon the sight of the lavishing pinkish erected skin and glanced a few seconds at his lover to see the progress he had done so far, eyes so dark in gratification. Satisfied on the breath-taking picturesque of his lover, he leaned in without even a warning, licked his left bud before completely sucking it with his hot mouth. The younger fidgeted in rhapsody beneath him as he continued to nibble the sensitive skin with his mouth while playing the other one with his free hand.

 

“C-Chanyeol… O-Oh my g-goodness- a-ah!” The actor grazed his teeth on his nipple and he was so satisfied on how his lover had responded. Soon, he was just there, gnawing his left and right buds until they turned red and wet with his saliva. The actor impatiently threw all the pillows on the couch to give them more space, before giving him another peck on his mouth. He grabbed his small frame and wrapped his arms around him as put the lad comfortably on his lap. Youngjae immediately snuggled on his neck, completely embarrassed while blushing madly. Chanyeol chuckled heartily and placed a kiss on his crown before lifting his chin up, “Awww, my baby.” He cooed. Chanyeol was just giving foreplays to the younger yet he had looked like he was already drained from all of the pleasure he had received.

 

            Youngjae whined, clearly feeling distorted. He had just woken up, but the intense sensations were already titillating him. Trying to dissipate the uncomfortable yet pleasurable feelings he received, he sleepily looked up on his lover, “I-I’m glad you’re already home…” He squeaked, his own voice betraying him.

 

            Expectedly, his action looked adorable on the taller’s eyes. He pressed his own nose against the servant, giving him an eskimo kiss while lopsidedly beaming, “You do realize that my stomach is weirdly churning, right? Still, you didn’t need to wait for, Jae. It will just stress you out.”

 

“I-I’m not stressed… Between the two of us, you surely are the one who’s clearly troubled with the amount of work you’re trying to carry by yourself…” He mumbled. Chanyeol just grimaced and didn’t reply.

 

            They let themselves melt in each other’s warmth for few minutes. Youngjae was feeling sleepy again before Chanyeol started to kiss his neck, instantly alarming his brain, “C-Chanyeol…” The boy protested but he was once again silenced with a peck, “Baby.” He whispered deeply, his shallow voice making the younger’s insides rumble, immobilizing him in his place, “I haven’t claimed you yet… I badly want you.”

 

 

 

 

 

            The next thing that Youngjae knew was that he was already being carried by the actor, his arms and legs helplessly wrapped around the taller’s neck and waist while furiously kissing with each other as they stumbled around, desperately tottering towards the massive staircase.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

            Chanyeol laid him gently on the bed. He smirked at his lover before kissing him for the umpteenth time. The younger wrapped his arms on his neck as they continued to savor at each other’s heat. Chanyeol groaned and slipped his tongue inside Youngjae’s mouth, hands still roaming around his skin. Youngjae stifled another whimper when their clothed erections purposely rubbed against each other, the delicious friction sending both of their bodies a mind-blowing tremor. Chanyeol lifted the younger’s legs and wrapped them around his waist before looking at his lover, “I love you so much…” He leaned and passionately kissed him, “I-I love y-you too…” Youngjae airily responded.

 

            As much the actor didn’t want to pull away from his lover’s warmth, he still needed to fetch the bottle of lube under his massive king-sized bed. He hastily returned to his position upon acquiring it and lowered his body towards the younger’s abdomen. He placed a kiss on his tummy before slowly disrobing his pyjama and his underwear off. The boy now lie almost naked beneath him, leaving only his shirt because Chanyeol really  _loved_  having sex with Youngjae with only a thin fabric left on him, an unnecessary kink he discovered the time the both of them were still afraid in revealing their feelings for each other. The actor’s breath was once again taken on the exquisite sight which thankfully, he can only see for himself. Youngjae shivered on the sudden change of temperature because it was already cold outside since winter was already approaching. He felt ashamed for being exposed that’s why he covered his face with his hands. “Don’t do that…” The actor gently whispered and removed the clasped hands that were covering the beautiful face of his lover, “I want to see your face as I pleasure and claim you. I love you so much.” Chanyeol wanted to take their time so he started to place gentle kisses on his inner thighs. The lad find it hard stopping himself for producing another series of moans as they just kept on spilling from his mouth every time Chanyeol’s mouth came contact with his sensitive skin. Chanyeol’s lips travelled aimlessly, randomly kissing any skin his lips came contact with from his pelvis down to his feet. He returned on his flat belly as he filled it again with kisses before dangerously kissing downwards. He felt so proud to himself because he had mapped his lover’s body with his love bites.

 

“C-Chanyeol n-no!” Chanyeol halted in front of his crotch, his boyfriend’s member was so hard and leaking with pre-cum. The superstar never gave him a blowjob. He thought it was weird and he wasn’t just prepared for it… Sure, he had received countless of blows from his whores but he never actually gave someone with it because he never slept with guys before until Youngjae came to his life. But seeing how breathtakingly beautiful his lover beneath him? He just wanted to pleasure him so bad.

 

He was ready to explore deeper for the sake of their relationship.

 

            Burning in curiosity, the actor kitten licked the mushroom head, savoring the salty taste of semen on his tongue. The taste felt weird, but not that bad either. He continued to investigate, now licking the underside and base of his lover’s shaft and it honestly felt just good seeing how his lover reacted from it, “C-Chanyeol s-stop!” He whimpered but clearly the actor didn’t have plans of ceasing because he himself was secretly enjoying how Youngjae’s cock adorably jerk as it came contact with his mouth. He kissed his balls and continued trailed his lips on the shaft.

 

“O-Oh my g-goodness!” Youngjae yelped. The actor’s wet cavern was already engulfing him, and Youngjae swore, the pleasure was so sudden he felt like he may detonate any second now. He clutched the sheets tightly as the actor tried to bob his head up and down, experimentally swirling his tongue. Chanyeol gagged when he tried to completely deepthroat his boyfriend but he managed to stay still although his grasp on Youngjae’s hips was getting a bit hard. Unfortunately, due to his lack of experience, his teeth had grazed his lover’s length while he was attempting to hollow his cheeks just like how he experienced it in his one-night stands.

 

“O-Ouch!” Youngjae exclaimed and instantly lifted his legs, forcing his cock to spring off away from the actor’s mouth. To make things worse, his act just made Chanyeol’s teeth to graze even more on his length. The actor coughed and wiped his lips, the taste of his lover’s pre-cum still lingering on his mouth.

 

“My god… I’m so sorry baby!” Chanyeol worriedly said before facing the abashed face of his lover, “I-I overdue it… I-I’m so sorry I was trying to pleasure you…” He rambled, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Youngjae blushed and caressed the older’s face, “I-It’s okay…” He muttered although his voice was already vacillating.

 

“I’m so sorry… I guess I need more practice?” Chanyeol innocently asked before softly cackling. Youngjae blushed deeper at his lover’s statement before trying to wave it off, “Y-You don’t have to do it…” He muttered. Chanyeol pecked his forehead, “So sorry… I just wanted to try new things… You know… So I can make you feel better every time we make love.”

 

“It’s okay Chanyeol…” The older cradled his face before glancing at him again with a pouty face, “C-Can we continue now?” He teased, although his voice had wavered because he was still feeling guilty that he had hurt his boyfriend. Nevertheless, his lover smiled reassuringly, “Y-Yeah… If that makes you feel better.” Chanyeol affectionately nuzzled his head on his neck, “I promise… I’ll be so gentle tonight baby.” Youngjae just nodded, trusting the actor’s words before the older gently went back to his previous position between his thighs. Youngjae gulped, because even though he and Chanyeol had sex a couple of times, he can’t still stop himself from feeling so nervous every time the actor touched him  _down there_.

 

            Youngjae lost count how many times they have done it, but one thing was certain. Somehow, his insecurity was still bothering him to the fullest. He honestly didn’t know how to respond and act as they made love with each other, frightened at the fact that he may do something wrong.

 

            Chanyeol threw his right leg on his shoulder, revealing his pinkish hole. The older automatically licked his lips in anticipation. It has been weeks since he had felt the familiar tightness of his lover, and he can’t hold himself back any longer. Lowering himself, he quickly pecked his entrance first before licking it with his tongue. As expected, his lover shuddered in the sudden wetness on his entrance and he tighten his grip on the sheets as he attempted to calm himself.  Chanyeol continued his ministrations, titillating him with his calloused hands and sinful mouth. His finger danced on his perineum and even gently tugged his sack as his continued to rim him deeper, constantly dampening his lover’s sensitive muscles with his lascivious tongue.

 

            Youngjae felt helpless thanks to the desire that was devouring him, and the only words that were coming from his mouth were the actor’s name as he chant them continuously like a mantra. The star was so immersed in eating him up, and his free hand was stroking his still painfully hard erection. The actor cocked his head slightly for a moment to glance at his pretty face before bending down his leg. He rose up a little until he had come face to face again with the younger’s groin before whispering, “Baby… I’ll try to please you again, okay?” Youngjae knew that Chanyeol will try to suck him again and before he can even stop the latter, his shaft was once again enveloped with the familiar heat of his lover’s mouth. Chanyeol slowly sank his mouth, gradually taking his lover’s cock. He tried to adjust the angle of his head so he can avoid the chance of unintentionally biting him. He clasped his left hand on the younger’s waist as he concentrated by closing his eyes and keeping his pace slow but steady. He tried to take in more but he almost gagged so he had no choice but to pull away, giving the head a kiss, this time tasting more amount of cum from his lover. In the back of his mind he definitely didn’t know what was he doing but he knew that the satisfying moans from his boyfriend were stopping himself from releasing the cock inside his mouth, even encouraging him to sink his mouth deeper. He didn’t feel disgusted but instead, he just want to do it more until Youngjae will beg for him to have his release. Clouded with lust, Chanyeol released the shaft for a while to breathe before hastily putting the member again inside his mouth, Youngjae tensing in his position. The younger’s toes kept on curling as his lover on his crotch tried to fasten his pace, slowly getting used to the shaft inside his cavern.

 

Sweat started to fall out from his temple and other parts of body despite of the cold weather. He was embarrassingly rock hard, and his stomach kept on churning, demanding a release because the vibrations coming from Chanyeol’s mouth was just too much even it was the first time the actor in trying to blow him. Chanyeol swooped again his pale legs, wrapping them on his neck before sneaking his free hand on his entrance, teasing the hole with his index finger. Chanyeol released his cock with a loud pop and Youngjae swore he almost whined from the sudden loss of heat on his member. A trail of saliva was left from his cock up to the actor’s mouth but Chanyeol immediately wiped it off. He sheepishly returned his gaze on the boy, “S-Sorry baby… I got carried away.”

 

At last, the star grabbed the bottle of lube just beside him and started to pour a lot of liquid in his palm. Once he was satisfied, he spread the younger’s legs, his entrance was now fully visible in front of him.

 

“I’m going to prepare you now, baby. You alright?” He stated while busy admiring the sight in front of him. When he looked again at the latter, he was already once again covering his face, but this time, with a pillow. Chanyeol rose until their faces were facing each other before gently removing the pillow from his face, “Jae, I told you. Please don’t cover your beautiful face. I want to see you as we make love to each other.” He pecked his nose but the younger still looked anxious and uncomfortable. Chanyeol felt his heart hollowing. He knew that Youngjae was still very worried despite he had already reciprocated his feelings to the latter. Youngjae’s mouth was quivering and Chanyeol knew that the younger was still apprehensive about being so nearly naked in front of the actor. He cupped his face, kissing him with so much love, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Chanyeol slightly pulled away, “Do you want me to undress myself too? I know you feel so uncomfortable since you are naked while I’m still with my clothes so… Yeah…” Youngjae was too shy to say yes so the actor didn’t even wait for him to reply. He started to unbutton his sleeves and quickly got rid of it together with his undershirt. He stood beside the bed for a few moments, impatiently unbuckling his belt then disregarding his pants and boxers before hovering the boy again and giving him a kiss, “Baby…” He groaned. Unconsciously, Youngjae had pulled closer the older with his legs that were firmly tangled on the other man’s waist while his arms were also wrapped on the neck of his lover. Chanyeol was still busy planting never ending kisses to the boy when he started again to grind their erections together, sending another series of shockwaves on each other’s now naked frame. He didn’t finish there, still fixed on rubbing their bodies together.

 

            He badly wanted to have the younger, but he hadn’t prepared him yet. Reluctantly, he pulled away before going back to his previous position. The younger just watched him with tired eyes, too drained even they haven’t started the intercourse yet, “C-Chanyeol…” He pleaded, “I-It hurts… P-Please…” The older nodded and placed a kiss on his hips, trying to comfort him, “Baby, don’t worry. I’m going to have you so soon.”

 

            Wasting no moment, he repeated his ministrations a while ago, throwing the younger boy’s limbs on his shoulders before finally smearing his entrance with the lube. He knew his saliva wasn’t enough for the foreplay and lube was really necessary to elude from hurting the insides of his lover. He slowly pushed his finger inside, earning a delightful moan from Youngjae’s lips. He waited for the younger to adjust before starting to scissor him, slowly sinking the finger until it was almost inside the entrance of the servant. Youngjae was still incredibly very tight, despite of all of his efforts even with the lube. There was no denying it really turned him on, his own cock twitching in anticipation. He waited a few moments before adding another finger, this time the younger was panting in pleasure, the strain of pain was lone gone from his face as his wanton moans filled the room. He kissed the younger’s globes before wriggling his two fingers inside, trying to search for a certain spot that will a hundred percent make Youngjae see stars.

 

“C-Chanyeol!”  _Bingo_. Chanyeol smiled to himself. He finally located the younger’s prostate. Despite the protests of the lad, he repeatedly thrust his fingers on the same spot. Youngjae was practically sobbing in pleasure and the arousal went out of control and beyond his limits when Chanyeol started to suck his member again while fucking him with his fingers, now three digits were constantly abusing his prostate. Youngjae was already seeing white, hysterically gripping the silky sheets beneath him as if his life was completely dependent from it when he reached his climax, before he released a high-pitched cry, spurting his seeds inside his lover’s mouth. Instead of gagging, Chanyeol swallowed all the semi-salty liquid and didn’t stop thrusting his fingers inside his lover’s entrance while still sucking him until Youngjae finished his orgasm. The actor released his cock that was fully covered with his saliva and wiped off the remaining cum in his lips and chin with his fist. He was breathing heavily due to the amount of oxygen he needed to sacrifice just to let his boyfriend finish his release. He hovered on top of the other male, kissing him open-mouthed with the same amount of desire, “Fuck…” He cursed when they pulled away. Youngjae’s jaw was agape, still catching his breath as he gaze dreamily on his lover. However, Chanyeol was still too hard, his neglected cock demanding for attention. Youngjae was so embarrassed but he still managed to wrap his legs on his lover’s waist as they continued to kiss, erections still lasciviously rubbing against each other. In just few moments Youngjae was hard again and was desperately clinging on the actor. Chanyeol pulled and kissed his jaw before looking at him, the amount of love he was showing was still flaming with passion.

 

“I love you, Yoo Youngjae. So much.” He voiced out, stressing every syllable of his name with pure admiration. Chanyeol finally positioned himself between his legs, his cock already poking his entrance. The actor grabbed the bottle of lubricant, pouring another huge amount of it on his palm before stroking himself. He groaned in pleasure as he continue to pump his cock, staring directly to the other’s eyes. Chanyeol looked like a Greek god in front of the younger with his deadly handsome features, piercing deep orbs, rock-hard abs glistening with sweat, flexing biceps and his enormous cock leaking with pre-cum. The size of Youngjae’s length was nothing compared to the one his lover has, and he didn’t know how such huge member could fit inside him.

 

            Chanyeol leaned a little bit, placing each of his arms beside his lover’s head and he sweetly grinned before starting to push himself inside his lover. Youngjae spilled another batch of pleasant moans that were music to Chanyeol’s ears as his lover waited for him to adjust, “Cha-Chanyeol… U-hmm… A-Ah… A-Ah… P-Please… M-Move…” He muttered almost indecipherably, fingers digging on the actor’s back and Chanyeol didn’t need to be told twice as he completely buried himself inside the latter, groaning in ecstasy as the base of his cock hit the younger’s ass. He captured the younger’s lips as he gave in to the ethereal heat enveloping his rod. His first thrusts were so slow and sweet, bottoming out so he can feel every inch of his lover’s walls. Youngjae’s forgotten cock started to leak again with his semen, and the attention it was seeking was abruptly given as soon as Chanyeol started to stroke him while still thrusting inside him.

 

“I.” Kiss, “Love,” Kiss, “You.” Kiss. Youngjae’s hole clenched, clutching the huge cock inside him. Chanyeol started to fasten his pace, pleasure completely controlling him. Youngjae felt like his lungs will blast out like a balloon because of the undying frantic breathing he was doing since Chanyeol started to fuck him. Sounds of skin slapping each other, Youngjae’s voice and Chanyeol’s groans echoed inside the whole bedroom as they made love. For the second time in that evening, Youngjae heavily orgasmed, staining their stomachs with thick ropes of cum as his prostate was constantly abused. Chanyeol roared his name before finally reaching his climax, filling him up with so much of his seeds he swore he felt some of it escaped from his hole, cascading on his legs. Chanyeol instantly collapsed on top of him, not giving a damn care about the sticky liquid on their abdomens. He was still inside of his lover and had no intention of pulling out from him, yet.

 

            It was perfect.

 

            The actor gathered the boy in his arms, enveloping him with his hug. They caught their breaths together, just laying so close to each other while listening to each other’s heartbeat. After recovering, Chanyeol scoped and cupped Youngjae’s face before planting a long kiss on his mouth, “That was… Amazing.” He whispered, “I love you so much, Youngjae.”

 

            Youngjae only once exchanged the older’s declaration of love and he felt guilty. Despite of his half-lidded eyes and very exhausted state, he snuggled closer to his boyfriend before shyly kissing him on his check, “I-I love you too. S-So much…” He sheepishly muttered before hiding his face in the crook of Chanyeol’s neck. The actor chuckled on his lover’s bashfulness. Half-heartedly, he finally pulled out of his lover’s hole, earning him another moan and before he could even lose control and ravish Youngjae again, he stood up and grabbed a towel inside the bathroom.

 

            The lad was indeed in pure bliss. There was no denying about it. Realizing what he and Chanyeol had done, he instantly blushed, still dazed and in cloud nine.

 

“Does it hurt?” Chanyeol asked once he returned. He lend his arm as he help edYoungjae to sit on his bum. The boy shook his head, “I-I’m okay. I-I’m still sore b-but it’s normal…” He stammered. Chanyeol ruffled his brown hair and started to wipe his lover’s face with the towel. He continued to clean him and was about to drape the towel on his lover’s sticky tummy when his breath hitched again. His boyfriend looked at him with his signature drowsy eyes, unaware on how his simple and innocent actions had a huge impact to his master.

_Damn_ … Youngjae was making him hard again.

 

“B-Baby I…” Chanyeol tried to talk but his voice wavered. Youngjae worryingly caressed his face before innocently asking, “What’s wrong?” Chanyeol just stared at him with dilated eyes and the next thing he knew, the actor pushed his body, his back hitting the bed sheets with a soft thud. The man was hovering on top of him again.

 

“Ch-Chanyeol?” He squeaked but he was already late, because his lover’s eyes were already shinning with lust because he was hungrily looking  _down there_ …

 

“Uh… No-“

 

“B-Baby… Can we…” Youngjae clearly knew where this will lead again, and his body felt like it had been ripped into pieces in utter exhaustion. He loved Chanyeol, but he knew he will literally split into half when he try to accept another round. His boyfriend was again hazardously staring at him as if he was his prey, “C-Chanyeol… My body can’t have another round… I’m so sorry…” He whimpered. The actor looked disappointed but he still managed to flash a sly grin. He gave his lover a quick peck and his hands were still on his waist.

 

“Okay.” He said with a low voice, obviously stained with a mischievous malice, “But at least let me do you another favor, yeah?” He meaningfully retorted. Without even warning he leaned down, and started to lick the cum on his belly. The lad was flabbergasted but the star didn’t stop. He just innocently glanced, still licking him of clean. Youngjae tried to push back his lover’s face away from his stomach but he failed to do stop because Chanyeol’s mouth was on his shaft again, hungrily sucking all the seeds left there before releasing it with a loud pop. He gently rubbed his hands against the younger’s waist before giving his member a final peck.

 

“What?” He nonchalantly question when he finally stood, Youngjae staring at him with an incredulous look. He groaned in frustration because Chanyeol just made him appallingly hard again.

 

            Youngjae just shook his head, ignoring the fact that he was throbbing, his member once again begging for attention, “N-Nothing… I’m gonna shower…” He was about to stand but Chanyeol grabbed his arm, “Oh… Can we take a bath together?” He innocently asked, eyes fixated on his dick.

 

 

 

 

 

             _Oh brother. So much for waiting him._

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

“Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

 

            Chanyeol didn’t know how many times he had cursed. It’s not his habit to panic, and believe it or not, it was the last thing he would do in such dire circumstances because he knew how to handle certain problems. He was usually composed and calm…

 

 

 

 

 

            Or maybe not. Definitely, he wasn’t Youngjae who would try to address the situation but heck, it was all about the alluring lad. Something he hadn’t expected to come was about to complicate things for the actor and his lover.

 

            He just smoothly finished his photoshoot early in the morning. He woke up in a very good mood, despite he lacked sleep. But then, a message welcomed him when he tried to browse his phone during break:

 

 **From:**  Jiyeon

 **Received:**  11:23 am

             _Appa’s gonna celebrate Christmas with us this year, oppa! He will be back here in Seoul next week and he wants us to be complete. See you soon, lovelots. XOXO_

 

            He just promised he would spend the holiday with his beloved. Why would his father come in such a wrong timing? Talk about ruining his plans…

 

            Unfortunately, No one knew about his relationship with the lad except his sister and his best friend Kai. Wait… Does Kai even know about it? He can’t remember it, for Pete’s sake. He and the other boy had made it clear that they would hide their relationship. The actor didn’t mind telling everyone that he’s already taken but because of the kind of circumstance he was already situated… He doubted that the media and his fans would take it lightly.

 

            And his father? Uh oh… He even don’t know how to picture it. There was surely a possibility that he would get disappointed in having a relationship with another man but somehow, he was still hoping that the opposite reaction will happen because sooner or later, he had no choice but to tell his thing with the servant to his family. Besides, it won’t be that bad, right? Jiyeon had understood the situation so… He assumed that the rest of his brothers will also understand it, especially Jimin and Seungri. Even if they didn’t approve, he would never let go of Youngjae, anyway. For goodness’ sake, he was Park Chanyeol after all, and whatever he wanted, he always had the way to have it.

            Chanyeol’s dad rarely go back to Korea anymore because he was always in New York, busy running the family business which explain how outrageously rich their family was. His family had a lot of drama when he was still a child. Sure, he loved his father even though he never expressed it freely, especially when his dad’s secret had been discovered twelve years ago when his mother died in cancer. The once peaceful Park family completely suffered a complete three hundred sixty degrees turn, and he doubted that his trust to his father will ever come back again despite all of the years the conflicts and predicaments he had with his family had ended long ago before he even had become an actor.

Chanyeol was the oldest son of the Parks out of the four children. Jiyeon was the second, Jinyoung being the third and the youngest was Jimin. They were all born with only a year age gap, and Chanyeol had assembled a brotherly role to his siblings, always looking after them. It wasn’t a secret that his parents’ marriage was unhealthy. His dad and mom had always fought with each other, and being the oldest, he was always the witness of it. During those times he couldn’t even freely weep, because he needed to appear unaffected and strong for the sake of his siblings who were still young. He never had known the reason why, not until his mother had passed away.

 

            Just few months after her funeral, answers finally went out, although these revelations were unfathomable, because the actor’s world just fell apart upon discovering it. Chanyeol woke up one dull morning, his father telling him to prepare because he and his siblings were going to meet someone. He was just twelve that time, and being diligent, he called his siblings and helped them to get ready for the mysterious guests.

 

After an hour of preparation, the Park siblings were already done. Chanyeol was about to descend from the second floor when he saw a car entering inside their massive gates in the huge window inside his room. He didn’t see who went out from it that’s why his curious feet brought him down the living room, where his father and the rest of his siblings were already waiting.

 

            Except that apart from them, there were also three additional kids, all jittery and silent while sitting on the couch. All of them were blond, facing hanging low, as if the carpet was the most interesting thing they had seen. One of them was very tall and slim, silently fidgeting the hem of his shirt with an emotionless look, although it can be concluded that he just cried a while ago judging how he his eyes were twitching and swollen, while the other one’s face who seemed like in Jimin’s age was so puffy and red, arms tightly clenched on the cushion, and he only realized that the boy was softly sniffling. Sandwiched between them was another boy who was deeply frowning, eyes also bloodshot and full of agony while protectively clutching his brother’s hands beside him. His feet kept on fidgeting, as if wanting to escape from his position. They all looked bewildered and devastated, because they were clamped at the one side of the couch even though it was too big.

 

Chanyeol’s first thought was, ‘ _Who are them?_ ’ He didn’t notice that his father who was already kneeling in front of him, face plastered with an unreadable expression. He anxiously clasped his hands together, before looking at his kids. He gazed individually at his children as he one by one call their names,

 

“Chanyeol.”

 

“Jiyeon.”

 

“Jinyoung.”

 

“Jimin.”

 

Chanyeol definitely didn’t know what was happening, but his world just went crashing down the pavement when his father said the next words he never expected that will come out from his mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

“This is Seungri,” He pointed at the little boy who was silently crying, “This is Sehun.” He clasped the tall boy’s shoulders who agitatedly shook as he introduced him. Finally his gaze went to the final boy who was still throwing death glares on the carpet, “This is Sungjong.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“These boys are your new brothers. They will be living with us starting today.”

One word. Pure obliviousness. His breath hitched and his eyes dilated. In just few seconds, he fell down on the expensive carpet, the strangling feeling on his neck started to slowly annihilate him. His siblings rushed on his side as panic consumed him. He still can’t believe what he just heard. What just his father had said to them? His world was spinning, but he can hear his father worryingly commanding the servants to call an ambulance. Jimin’s cries were echoing at his background as he groggily gazed at the faces of Jiyeon and Jinyoung above him as they desperately supported and hugged his body. He didn’t miss the perplexed yet worried face of Sungjong when he finally passed out, darkness completely engulfing him.

 

            Chanyeol stayed inside the hospital for a week, lifelessly weeping and afraid to face his predicament back home. He didn’t know that his restless life could be even worse than his nightmares. Million questions were rattling inside his mind. Who were those kids? What were they doing in his house? Why their father introduced them as their brothers? Just thinking the possible answers in his demands made his mind to painfully ache in despair. He just wanted to cry all of his heart. His mother’s death was still painful because the wound it left was still fresh, yet another suffering was trying--- or rather grazing to complicate his miseries.

 

            New brothers? His blood was boiling just by thinking about it. How was that even possible?! He was definitely sure that he only had one sister and two brothers, not _five_! Those kids just suddenly appeared in their lives, shamelessly popping up like mushrooms after a thunderstorm in their home.

 

            He wasn’t buying it, and whatever what happened, he wasn’t going to accept the horrible truth.

 

            Being just twelve was too painful for a child to suffer such heavy family issues. Unbeknownst to the minds of the Park children, their parents were only victims of an arranged marriage. Obviously, they didn’t like the idea, but tried to build a family just to save their crumbling marriage. Little by little, as children had started to appear in their lives, and their mother had gradually started to accept the kind of fate that she had, satisfied and happy especially when Chanyeol was born. Unaware of her husband’s feelings, she didn’t fully know what his internal conflicts were, because during those times, she didn’t know he had already committed a rather unforgivable mistake.

 

            Nine months prior Chanyeol’s birth, Oh Sungjong was born from a poor lady and a rich man whose love in each other was forbidden. Despite of the consequences and the man being already married, they still risked themselves and continued to affirm their love for each other. The head of the Park household was already in a relationship before his world was shattered by the constricting marriage his parents had planned for him. The bottom line was that, he never loved his wife. He continued his contact with his original lover, even bearing three children with her during his marriage with his wife.

 

            Secrets will never stay hidden, and it just proved how wrong their father was in succumbing deeper in committing adultery when his wife figured out all of it when she was pregnant with Jimin. Heaving in anguish, she almost lost the baby when she discovered about her husband’s wrongdoings. She was getting suspicious about her husband who constantly went home very late. When she hired a spy, she discovered it all, from his children to his mistress up to the tiniest details about their clandestine meetings together. In that time, fighting between them became a mundane to their mansion, oblivious that Chanyeol was getting affected by their problems. Her husband’s affair just came an end when his secret lover died while giving birth to Seungri.

 

            The first few months living under the roof with the Ohs were painful and unbearable for him. The most affected about the revelation were him and Jinyoung, both not accepting the fact that they had half-brothers to share with their father’s attention. For the boy, they were just mere outsiders and illegitimate children. He didn’t care about their feelings and he often try to boss around them especially Seungri who’s the youngest while Jinyoung loved to pick a fight with Sehun.

 

            Sungjong being the oldest out of the seven, tried his fullest to stand for his siblings. Unfortunately he was shorter than Chanyeol and he was defenceless against the oldest son of the Parks. He always ended up being the punching bag for the boy.

 

            The conflict between the siblings continued to flare up, but it wasn’t just the existence of the Ohs that was making Chanyeol’s blood to always erupt in wrath, but also the fact that Jiyeon and Jimin were starting to warm up to them. He felt hurt and betrayed, because why would the two of them need to interact with the strangers? Since the start, they were always four no matter what happened. There’s no need for including those three filthy kids in their own world of bubble. He couldn’t stand or fathom every time his one and only sister hug the stoic yet shy frame of Sehun, or how Jimin’s eyes always lit up upon seeing Seungri. He usually played with him, not at the crybaby he loved to browbeat with insulting words.

 

            It went to the point where Jiyeon and even his adorable youngest dongsaeng started to defend them, stating that his bullying were too much to handle.

 

 

 

 

 

_‘You’re horrible, oppa! Why don’t you stop hurting them! They are also our siblings!’ Jiyeon retaliated, eyes red in crying. Seungri was behind her, hiding as if his life was already in peril of danger at the sight of the older, sobbing painfully. Two years had already passed yet the tension inside the mansion was still the same. They were inside the living room and Jiyeon, Sehun and Sungjong were just quietly sharing stories to each other while as usual, Seungri and Jimin were playing when Chanyeol and Jinyoung arrived and started to assault them._

_‘Shut up, Jiyeon! How could you do this to me! It’s just always the four of us, nothing else!’ Chanyeol bellowed, fists tightly clenched as he threw a death glare to Sehun who was also sharply glowering at him._

_‘When will you stop assaulting us?! Are you really blind or what?! Can’t you see we don’t even want to be here at the first place?! What did we do to you to drastically hate our existence too much?’ Sungjong yelled back, teeth tightening as he tried his best to control his anger. Sehun’s glower turned into a smirk before remarking, “You don’t like us? Well, the feeling is mutual,_ hyung _.”_

_Chanyeol couldn’t take it anymore. Without a warning he charged towards the tall boy and smashed his fist on his smirking face. Jiyeon screamed and Seungri cried harder at the back of his sister, and Sungjong harshly shoved the taller away from his brother, sending him on the floor while holding his jaw. Chanyeol’s nose was flaring in anger and was about to hit Sehun again when suddenly, Jimin spoke, voice quivering in dejection._

_‘I-I hate you… hyung… You are so bad… I hate you so much…’_

_The now second oldest of the seven swore his feet went numb in his position upon hearing his most precious sibling’s words. The world started to spin very slowly as he watched the small frame of his dongsaeng disappear in his sight as he ran upstairs, sobs still resonating in his ears. The next words of Jiyeon made his heart to crush more._

_‘You’ve changed, oppa… Y-You’re now a monster…’_

 

 

 

 

 

            Saying that the vicissitudes of life was really affecting Chanyeol was an utter understatement. He was torn between his desolations and his father’s betrayal to his imperfect family he still deeply treasured. Since that day, Jiyeon and Jimin became distant to him, and the only that was left to him was Jinyoung who was still under his influence. He missed the times when they were just the typical siblings who loved to play with each other under the mistletoe. Not beating around the bush, he badly want to regain his relationship with his sister and youngest brother, although the detesting feeling in his heart he was bearing for the Ohs’ was still stronger.

 

            In spite of all of these, a small part of his heart was still believing that after the storm he was experiencing for a long time, there will be a time that it will finally come to an end and a rainbow would appear in the sky.

 

 

 

 

 

            He had little faith, until one day it finally came.

 

 

 

 

 

_‘Fuck…’_

_Sixteen year old Chanyeol was practically limping on the ground, dragging his almost lifeless body. The sun was already long gone because it was already near midnight and the family driver was long ago gone with his siblings in it but he didn’t care because he never what to ride on the same car with the Ohs, anyway. The seven of them were studying the same high school and he was definitely sure his father would reprimand his ass again for engaging another fight in just a span of week. Life was terrible for him, so he didn’t give a damn care because he just wanted to burst all of his frustrations away by brawling with the other delinquent kids in his campus._

****

**** _Clumsily shambling on the foyer, the lad tripped on the shoe rack he didn’t notice because the lights in their mansion was already dead and he couldn’t risk to open them up, nervous that his father might pop out from nowhere. He squirmed in pain upon the contact of his bruised body on the expensive floor but he didn’t have any choice but to try to stand up. After three times attempting to, he finally managed to before having difficulty in walking towards the staircase, unaware on the figure who was watching him with nervous yet curious eyes from the kitchen. Chanyeol was already near the second floor when he tripped again, earning another groan from his mouth. This time, the pain was too much and he was already spread-eagled on the floor. He cursed multiple times thanks to his carelessness before trying to stand again, only earning another painful sensation from his wounds._

_‘H-Hyung?’ Although almost inaudible, Chanyeol heard someone calling him from the staircase. He turned his head towards the direction of voice and he fought his urge to roll his eyes upon seeing the image of Seungri who was standing three meters away him, hands anxiously fidgeting the hem of his shirt while staring at him with pure… Concern?_

_‘Fuck off, twat…’ Chanyeol growled but soon it was replaced by a painful groan when he tried to stand again. Seungri jolted at his position and barely managed to fixate his gaze at his older brother. Chanyeol was still writhing in pain and he could clearly see the blood stains on his shirt despite of the darkness when he tried to come closer._

_‘Don’t. Fucking. Come. Closer.’ The older perilously warned, making the younger to cower in fear. Seungri knew already to himself that he must return to his room because it was already late but somehow, the sight of his pained brother was making him to have a second thought. Gathering up his courage, he slowly took steps towards his brother and knelt beside him. Chanyeol’s face was still contorted in obvious pain when Seungri tried to talk, ‘A-Are you o-okay?’ He squeaked. Chanyeol sneered again but the younger tried his best not to scramble away. Instead, he helped the older to sit even though he was shuddering in nervousness._

_‘Don’t touch me you freak!’ glowered but he leaned on the younger’s shoulders when he tried to help him, ‘D-Don’t move too much. Y-You’ll hurt yourself more.’ Seungri mumbled. It took for him to gather all of his strength despite being too shirt to haul the both of them into a standing position and Chanyeol writhed in pain when he accidently brushed his arms on his wounded abdomen, ‘S-Sorry!’_

_The two of them scrambled at the hallway like drunk teenagers until they finally reached the older’s room with utter exhaustion because one, Chanyeol was heavy as a sack and two, his younger sibling wasn’t that strong to support his weight. Seungri accidentally tossed the taller on the bed, earning another protests as he murmur his apologies before scrambling outside. Chanyeol breathed a heavy sigh, one arm covering his eyes from exasperation as mumbled a soft ‘_ Idiot. _’ To himself. He thought the younger was already gone but that idea immediately dissipated when he saw again the boy tottering towards him carrying a basin filled with water, a first aid kit and a towel. Chanyeol watched him with raised eyebrows as the younger fretfully sat beside him before puffing an amount of air, ‘A-Are you alright, h-hyung?’_

_‘Don’t call me, hyung.’ Chanyeol starkly said before turning around to face the wall despite the pain slowly stabbing his sides. He closed his eyes and mentally prayed that the annoying brat in his room would away. Seungri yelped at the hostility but he still stubbornly went to the other side to face his brother, ‘Y-You’re hurt, hyung… I need to help you…’ He softly said. The taller opened his eyes before glaring, ‘I don’t fucking need your help.  Now out!’_

****

**** _Seungri was about to talk again but the older wasn’t buying it, ‘But y-you’re hurt! Y-You need help!” He insisted._

‘What the hell is going inside this brat’s mind?! _’ Chanyeol mentally thought to himself. Apparently, Seungri was intimidated thanks to his glowering presence, yet he was still offering his help to him. It was clear that the older despised him while the younger was afraid of him. Seungri was still eyeing at him with nervous gaze but the worry in it was still there, not even disappearing which made Chanyeol to get vexed more, because he didn’t need any of the blond boy’s pity._

****

**** _Seungri inhaled a lot of air before finally marching in front of him and sat at his cozy mattress, ‘H-Hyung… Please…”_

_Chanyeol would be lying if he say that he wasn’t bothered in the way Seungri pleaded just to help him. The blond sounded like crying, afraid that further harm could possibly overdue his fatigued state. The older was lost for words for a fraction of seconds before reluctantly surrendering, trying to mask his startled state, ‘Whatever, brat. Do what you fucking want to do.’ He crossed his arms and tried to look everywhere in the darkness but the latter._

_The older was genuinely shocked when Seungri flashed a soft smile to him before helping him to sit up. Seungri rushed towards his walk-in closet, grabbing a random white shirt and a pyjama before returning to his side. The younger assisted him in disregarding his shirt, revealing his fresh bruises and wounds. Maybe getting a fight against five delinquents was a bad idea, after all. Chanyeol expected that the younger will panic upon seeing his injuries, but he just merely furrowed his brows, unfazed on the sight he was seeing in front of him._

_‘Y-Yikes…’ Seungri whispered loudly to himself, ‘Just like what I had before…’ He murmured before lighting the lampshade beside the bed. Chanyeol was just scrutinizing him with a displeased face as he watched his brother who was busy in rummaging the contents of the first aid kit he didn’t know where it came from, grabbing the bottle of disinfectant before dabbing a gentle amount of in a piece of cotton._

_‘This will hurt, hyung. Just hold still, o-okay?’ He slowly stated, afraid that anytime the taller might snap his head off. He didn’t received any responses from the taller so he didn’t have any choice but to shrug it off, gently dabbing the cotton on the large bruise on his left waist. Chanyeol’s reflexes instantly responded upon the contact of the soft material on injury, yelping at the sting, ‘I-I’m sorry, hyung… You need to endure it for a while…’_

_Chanyeol motionlessly watched Seungri as he slowly yet meticulously tended his wounds. ‘Sehun-hyung and I are always bullied in our previous school. We always end up having ugly bruises like yours and although Sungjong loved to reprimand us, he never fails to take care of us. I learned how to do this kinds of things thanks to him.’ Seungri shared as he gently pressed an ice bag on his brother’s swollen face. He knew that Chanyeol wasn’t even interested in hearing his stories but he still try to distract him with his continuously babbling in order for him to not feel the pain. He even helped the older to wash himself with the wet cloth and he missed how Chanyeol’s face flashed in beet red in embarrassment as he help him in wearing his clothes before tucking him in the covers like a toddler._

****

_‘One time, I was badly bullied. I can’t afford to say it to the hyungs because I knew that time that they will not hesitate to come to my school and confront my bullies. When Sehun-hyung discovered about my dilemma and he told it to Sungjong-hyung, he was so angry he even fought with those kids just to teach them a lesson. Hyung went home full of bruises yet he was still firmly standing straight, eyes foolishly smiling in victory even though he was in pain. He told me,_ ‘You don’t have to go to school while carrying anxiety. You’re all safe now.’ _And then he fell apart, crumbling on the floor. It was now our time to pamper hyung just like how he pedantically treats as with his unconditional love.’_

****

**** _Seungri was barely thirteen, just started to be a teenager and his built was still small and lanky as always when he first arrived in the mansion, yet his knowledge in alleviating his wounds was exceptional. Seungri was about to turn of the lampshade beside the older’s bed when he spotted something in his forehead._

_‘What are you staring at?’ Chanyeol retorted but the younger just shushed, before grabbing a Band-Aid inside the kit. He peeled the plastic off and stuck it on the small graze on the taller’s forehead with a serious face. Once he was done, he gazed at him, still checking for any untended wounds before heaving a satisfied sigh. He grabbed the things he used and was about to walk towards the door when he halted his steps as if he forgot something important._

_‘Now what?’ Chanyeol was getting annoyed, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was feeling way better than he was a while ago. Seungri came back to his direction with a baffled expression, internally battling his thoughts on what he was going to do. Dejectedly, he leaned in before pressing a soft kiss on his older brother’s forehead, ‘H-Hyung always says to give the w-wounds a boo-boo to make it heal faster.’ He blathered while blushing madly before racing towards the door, before closing it with a soft thud._

_Chanyeol was frozen for a few seconds before guffawing loudly, an unexpected reaction he himself couldn’t even comprehend he would do._ ‘Boo-boo?! What kind of word was that?!’  _He continued to gawk like a madman until he felt his jaw hurting, sinking in the soft covers of his bed._

_‘Cute.’ He mumbled before he let sleep to entirely cover him, smile creeping on his face._

_Yep, Seungri was still a kid caged in an awkward teenager’s body._

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Probably, Seungri reminded him of Jimin who was also one of the youngest, very hyperactive yet extremely adorable. Jimin had a soft spot to his heart, and it didn’t take a while for him to completely give in, because since that incident, he gradually started to warm up to the younger. Sure, the constant bickering didn’t stop but it became softer and the physical and verbal abuse had lessen until it completely dissipated, replaced by the typical sibling-to-sibling shenanigans.

 

 

 

 

 

            Sehun was the next to surprisingly warm up. After four years of constantly trying to behead each other, he also discovered how the alabaster skinned boy deeply cared for him even though he treated him like thrash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_‘Fuck! I’m late!’_

_Judging from the striped pyjamas he was still wearing, saliva dripping from his mouth and books scattered on his desk, there was no hesitation that Chanyeol had fallen asleep. Thirty minutes till his first class starts, he was left no choice but to take a quick shower. Usually, Jimin would wake him by jumping off on his bed like a child while his rambling but since the time their fight had occurred, the youngest stopped seeing or even talking to him. Chanyeol never went to school with his siblings, anyway. If Jinyoung could endure the presence of the Ohs, screw it, he wouldn’t even try to breathe the same air with them. Notwithstanding, he just grabbed his bag after messily putting his uniform on. The teenager hastily rushed outside the mansion before racing towards the bus stop, cursing internally how he did he even fell asleep at the middle of doing his term paper._

_Wait… Term paper… Deadline today…_

_Fuck._

_He was already outside of his room when he remembered about the freaking term paper he was about to pass that day. He tousled in finding the piece of sheet that could greatly affect his grades inside his bag. The moment he recognized that his requirement wasn’t even inside his bag, the boy just wanted to crash his face on the wall until he fell unconscious, because what else would be his reason in order for him to have the authorization to enter his class without his assignment?_

_Risking his remaining luck--- if he had left, he unenthusiastically dragged his feet towards the door, and when he opened it, the class felt silent, his teacher looking at him with a displeased face, feet tapping against the wooden floor. He embarrassingly forced himself to walk towards his desk at the back of the room while everyone was staring at him as if he’s the main highlight of the show. When he finally plopped his body on the hard armchair, the teacher started to talk. He closed his eyes because he was expecting her to shout at his face for even appearing at her class twenty-one minutes late without even passing his term paper--- ‘Tardy again, Mr. Park huh? Under a distinct circumstance I would have not certainly allow you to enter inside the class if it wasn’t for your brother who was even nice enough to pass your term paper early before the class even started, thus saving your ass.’ She spat, before turning at the blackboard and immediately resumed her lecture as if nothing happened. Chanyeol definitely didn’t expect that to happen, but then, a sudden thought crossed in his mind,_ ‘I’m sure I did not finish my paper… But who passed my---‘

_A certain person instantly entered his mind,_ ‘Ah… Jinyoung… I’m sure he was the one who was nice enough to do that for him.’ _Chanyeol heavily exhaled, still processing what just happened._

_He still had Jinyoung, after all. The younger was the only one he had, by the way. Jinyoung was very smart and he knew his brother had finished his term paper in just few hours last night when he fell asleep._

_‘Park Chanyeol! Detention after class for spacing out!’_

_As usual, Chanyeol saw his brother inside the library during lunch break, busy finishing his requirements that were due two weeks advance without even bothering to eat. With an upbeat smile, he approached the brunette and draped his one arm around him. Jinyoung yelped in surprise his shocked face instantly became a scowl when he realized that it was only his hyung, ‘H-Hyung! Don’t do that to me!’ He chastised._

_‘Awww… You don’t have to do that, ‘lil bro.’ He started, ruffling his dongsaeng’s neatly combed hair. Jinyoung stared at him incredulously before frowning, ‘Do what?’_

_‘Playing innocent huh? My term paper, dummy! Thank’s for saving my ass!” He beamed before patting his brother’s back which just made Jinyoung to be more aggravated, ‘Ouch! And what term paper are you talking about?! I didn’t do any term paper you have!’ He argued. Chanyeol’s forehead formed a crease upon hearing it, ‘What are you talking about? You did it yesterday, right? You even passed it earlier that’s why Ms. Lee let me inside her boring class!’ He explained, but the expression Jinyoung was giving him wasn’t helping at all._

_‘I did not do anything related about your term paper or whatsoever. I would never willingly do your assignments unless you bribe me, you know.’ He retorted with a pointed look. He gathered his belongings before standing up, leaving Chanyeol with a bemused look, ‘Sorry hyung. I need to go back to my class now.’_

‘What the fuck was that?! T-Then who did my term paper?!’  _He asked to himself while blankly staring at the wooden table in front of him. If Jinyoung didn’t do it, then who? Jiyeon was a possible choice but then, the girl wasn’t even talking to her. Jimin just only entered middle school so it was impossible for him to even know his topics in his advanced English class. Who else in his family that was very smart?_

_A rather familiar person suddenly appeared in his mind,_ ‘No, not him! We don’t even talk to each other, heck why would he even try to do my term paper?’  _He scolded to himself. Aside from Jinyoung he knew that Sehun was incredibly intelligent aside from being also an annoying brat in his eyes. But of course, judging on the kind of hostile treatment they had established with each other, he was definitely crossed out in his list._

_Still, he couldn’t shake off the possibility that Sehun did his term paper for the sake of his failing grades._

_The same scenario hauntingly repeated which just made Chanyeol to become even more mystified. There was a time he forgot to do his scientific report but when he opened his bag, he saw that it was neatly done as if it just randomly appeared inside it. The work was definitely not his because the choice of words were too highfalutin and it was done perfectly. He even had aced it by acquiring a perfect score, a very rare occurrence he had ever encountered because even his teacher was giving him a stink eye when he had received his paper. He tried again to persuade Jinyoung to admit it about doing his paper but just like the other time. As expected, he blatantly denied, firmly stating that he wouldn’t even waste his time in doing his papers without gaining any benefit from it._

_He was gradually getting disturbed, because he badly wanted to know who was doing his neglected paper works just to save him from repeating a year. His questions were finally answered one day when he accidentally fell asleep in front of his laptop, and when he woke up, it was already morning. The only difference from the last time was that it was still two hours before his first class. Still, he could help but to feel greatly fucked up._

_‘Shit… Shit… Shit… Just fucking great!’ He cursed repeatedly while furiously typing at his laptop in attempting to finish his ten-paged field report that should be passed before eight in the morning to regrettably, Ms. Lee’s class. He wasn’t aware on the tall figure that was standing at the threshold of his door, arms intersected and faced painted with displeasure because he was still busy cramming on his work._

_‘You know that even if you punch to cause a hole on the screen of your laptop, it won’t change the fact that it wouldn’t fasten the progress of your work.’ Brows automatically furrowing and jaws tensing up, Chanyeol furiously spun his chair at the direction of the voice that was taunting him._

_‘Fucker… Get out here!’ He snarled at Sehun who was smirking. Instead of backing away, the younger just shrugged before promenading and plopping himself comfortably on his bed. Sehun yawned for a bit before returning his gaze towards to his fuming brother, ‘You never learned your lesson, you know? No offense but, procrastination will be the cause of your death.’_

_Chanyeol’s eye twitched. How dare this piece of twat insult him?! The older folded his sleeves until it reached his elbows, before dangerously sauntering towards Sehun, ‘You fucking arrogant piece of shit. Get. Out!’ He practically bellowed. Sehun just yawned as a response before leaning back, humming in satisfaction as he sink on the covers, ‘I’m sleepy.’_

_‘Then go back to your room, fucker!’ Chanyeol snarled over. Sehun sat in his bum, clearly annoyed, ‘You’re too loud. Why don’t you continue to finish your field report instead of cursing in front of me?’ He mocked, clearly wanting to rile the older more. Chanyeol wasn’t going to back away, especially that he was in a very unflattering mood. He grabbed Sehun on his collar, ‘Are you deaf or what---‘_

_‘One hour and thirty minutes ‘til your deadline guillotines your stubborn head, genius.’ Sehun remarked. Chanyeol groaned in frustration before harshly shoving the pale boy on the bed, angrily storming back in his sit. He looked at his unfinished work. He was barely on the fourth page of the document, and he would never finish in on time. Chanyeol grasped his hair and pulled them in utter displeasure, wishing that the ground would just open and gobble him up, probably together with Sehun, so they could perish together. Suddenly, he felt a presence behind him and he definitely knew that it was Sehun, ready to irritate him again. Instead, the blond just nonchalantly stole his laptop before returning at his bed, coolly strolling the buttons up and down as he inspect his work, ‘You worked all night and you even fell asleep for finishing four dull and useless pages? Seriously, you call this abomination a work from a student coming from an advanced English class? Even my classmates can do better than you.’ He snapped. Chanyeol was getting out of patience and he just hit his fist on top of his desk, ‘When will you stop--- Hey! Give me back my laptop!’ He screamed but Sehun was already making a beeline towards the door. His brother stop for a while, laptop still in his hands when he responded, ‘Give me one hour to finish this,_ hyung _.’ And just that, Chanyeol was once again left behind with his mouth widely agape._

 

‘The heck?!!!’

_Grudgingly, it seemed like forever since he shared a ride with his siblings, the only evident difference was that the Ohs were also with him. He had no choice but to ride with them, because his field report was at the hands of the tall pale blond beside him who was typing furiously with serious face, eyes firmly fixated at the screen of his laptop, save the curious expressions Jimin and Seungri were sharing, Jinyoung who’s one eyebrow was quizzically rising and the confused looks that Sungjong and Jiyeon had. Sehun reassured him that before they could even reach the campus, his field work will be finished in no time, completely proofread and free from any corrections. He of course didn’t believe at the fourteen year old, but was soon forced to eat his own words when Sehun managed to type the last period of his ten-paged field report (excluding the title page) before they even parked the family car inside the campus._

_‘Done.’ Sehun announced as he detached the flash drive from the USB of the gadget. The whole ride was silent because of the existence of the oldest Park inside the car and the only sound that was resonating inside was the tapping of Sehun’s fingers against the keys of the laptop. He casually dropped the flash drive at Chanyeol’s palms before exiting the car, leaving Chanyeol stunned and speechless, ‘Bye. See you guys in lunch.’_

            Thanks to Sehun’s sassiness, he had managed to print his assignment two minutes before his first period had started. Chanyeol didn’t even know what kind of sorcery did the thin blond used just to work on his requirement. Nevertheless, the important was that at least Sehun’s help will totally save him from failing his class. He didn’t want to repeat his Advanced English class again with Ms. Lee who’s dreadful as hell.

_‘Why are you doing my paperworks, huh? Are you belittling me, you brat?’ He interrogated back home when they just returned from school. Sehun just contently threw himself on the couch, eyes sleepy and exhausted. He lazily eyed the older as he put his feet on top of the coffee table in front of him, ‘What?’_

_‘First, my term paper. Next my scientific paper, then my field report. Seriously, what are you up to?!’ He condemned, unaware of the curious looks that Seungri and Jimin were giving at his direction who were hiding at the kitchen. Sehun scratched his arm before trying to relax at his position. He looked at Chanyeol for a few minutes, the older was still standing on his ground, impatiently demanding for an answer. Worn out, he deadpanned, ‘You really don’t know how to even say thank you, do you?’_

 

_‘Yeah. Thanks for that, you happy now?!’ He sarcastically tormented. Finally, he seemed to irritate the younger’s nerves because Sehun was already standing up, ‘You should be thankful I’m saving your ass from failing! DO you even have any idea how you barely managed to evade repeating a year in high school?! You should be ashamed to yourself especially that you are still on your first year!’ He counterattacked. He pointed his index finger before forcefully poking it at the older’s firm chest as he continued to reprimand him, ‘You. Shouldn’t. Neglect. Your. Studies. Ever.’ He shakily muttered before lowering his head, fist tightly clenched as he fight on the tears that were suddenly impending to fall from his eyes._

_Shocked on the sudden explosion of emotions, the older tensed up in his position. It was the first time Chanyeol saw Sehun so vulnerable and small in front of him. Unconsciously, he didn’t feel how his expression turned three sixty from being mad to being… worried?_

 

_‘H-Hyung never fails to always remind us how education is important, because it is the only last hope we only have in order to s-survive.’ Sehun whispered, voice still shaking in sadness, ‘I-I desperately want to help hyung in keeping us a-alive because it was so hard in living practically having none but wretched clothes and hungry stomachs and also without someone who will t-take care of you… I know t-that once I graduate, there’s a chance that we can finally escape the unfair quicksand that was slowly and painfully drowning us e-every. Single. D-Day…’ Sehun was now sobbing, crying excruciatingly in front of him. Chanyeol was still a human, and he didn’t have a heart that was made out of stone. He wanted to comfort the younger but he didn’t how to, especially that he now practically getting red as he continue to sniffle._

_‘W-When I saw you h-how you fail to accomplish your works, I immediately thought that it would be harder for you to catch up… Especially that y-you are falling behind in your classes. S-So in order to help you, I tried study your syllabus in order to help you in doing your requirements.’ Chanyeol exhaled heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked at Sehun who was still looking on the ground, expression crestfallen as his tears continued to wet the carpet, ‘I-It just so happened that father suddenly came out of nowhere one day while doing our old days underneath the tattered house we were living in the slums. I-I never knew we would be attaining this kind of life after all.’ He laughed humorlessly, pain still straining his voice._

_Chanyeol’s mouth was dry, but he managed to pathetically respond a rather filler question, ‘Y-You… W-Why did you do t-that?’ That time, it was Chanyeol’s turn to quiver in despondency. Sehun and he were merely strangers to each other even after sharing the same roof for almost four years. Their only interactions were always decorated with bloody fist fights and unpleasant flytings, so why did he was even trying to comfort him at the first place? He was a hundred percent sure that the two of them clearly abhor each other, thus sequestering each other would be the best idea since they couldn’t face each other’s presence without slitting themselves with atrocious words._

_Sehun messily wiped his face with his sleeves, feet fidgeting as he calmed himself. He slowly lifted his face that was still painted with a dejected face and for the first time in four years, he flashed a weak yet genuine smile to the older, ‘You dumb jackass. W-What else my reason could b-be? You’re my h-hyung, after all. I couldn’t afford to see you suffering t-too, even if you loved to treat me like a rubbish, so yeah...’ Those were the last four sentences he had heard before being bone-crashed with a tightening hug from the pale blond boy, face sheepishly mushed on his shoulder as he reluctantly wrap his arms around his neck. Chanyeol was dumbfounded by the sudden act. Nonetheless, he didn’t think twice in reciprocating his brother’s hug. It felt great, feeling the other’s warmth against his skin, and sudden urge of protectiveness had erupted from the older. For the first time, he had treated the other as his own brother which he should had done earlier. Nevertheless, being late was better than never._

 

 

 

 

 

            The bickering never stopped, however, that night definitely changed how they treated each other. This time, Chanyeol won’t refute it, but his respect to the tall blond was established. He gradually learned that beneath his poker face and passive attitude, Sehun was just as softie as Seungri, although the boy wouldn’t admit it.

 

 

 

 

 

            The last one was obviously the oldest out of them, which was also the hardest for Chanyeol to accept. During those times and despite slowly starting to warm up with Sehun and Seungri, he still couldn’t stand the fact that someone was still older than him by nine months, striping his pride and drowned on the lie he lived throughout his life that he was the eldest and the first-born Park, only it wasn’t.

 

            Most of the time, Chanyeol treated the older as if he was invisible, and vice versa. Their argument had stopped since Chanyeol started to treat the younger Ohs as humanely, and Sungjong wasn’t blind to notice the change of winds. He honestly didn’t expect that time would even arrive, but he wasn’t complaining. As long as Sehun and Seungri were safe and happy, he would be also pleased.

 

            The fountainhead of Chanyeol’s reason on why he kept on planting his grudge to the former was pure jealousy in almost all aspects. One of those was the most evident which was how Sungjong seemed to steal his sibling’s attention away from him. However, their awkwardness to each other needed to be put to an end, no matter how they expertly avoid the situation.

 

 

 

 

 

_Chanyeol literally smacked his head as he helplessly gawked at the never-ending traffic against the window of the car, panic deliberately consuming him. Jiyeon’s pageant had already started one hour ago but he was still there, trapped, leaving him no choice but to painfully wait until the traffic had completely degenerated. He promised that he would be there throughout her competition to show his support and can’t help but to overthink how his sister would be greatly disappointed if he won’t make it to the venue._

_‘What a fucking bummer…’ He thought. After it seemed like forever, he finally reached his destination, instantly racing inside the building as if someone was chasing him. He chaotically shoved his ticket to the guy situated inside the ticket booth area before scrambling inside the enormous room where loud music was playing, extravagant lighting was blindly shinning everywhere and the crowd was already wild upon entering the site. Chanyeol didn’t know where to sit so he just chose a random seat at the middle, hoping to get a better glimpse of his sister. He fidgeted anxiously on his seat as he impatiently wait for his sister to appear on the stage, and when she did, the people surely loved her because they were frantically cheering for her as she flawlessly walked along the catwalk wearing a stunning and glittering black gown, all smiles and charms on. He even tried to catch her attention amongst the crowd but he immediately failed as the crowd continued to roar around him, still in utter amazement as they watched the only girl in the Park family dominated the whole stage. It only took a minute for the older to register that it was already the final round of completion, because after his sister’s final walk, it was already the announcement of the winner. Chanyeol felt really terrible and he just wanted to melt on his seat until he became a puddle for feeling so ashamed. It was such a waste for not even seeing the whole pageant and he only blamed himself for being stuck in traffic for hours._

_Fingers crossed in anticipation, Chanyeol felt his nerves cracking up as he and the whole audience waited for the presenter’s announcement. ‘_ Please, please, please… Let it be Jiyeon… _’ He repeatedly chanted inside his head like a mantra, one foot now tapping peevishly against the floor. He had closed his eyes as he waited for the declaration of the winner, and when it was stated, Chanyeol had abruptly stood up in sheer rhapsody, because it had been Jiyeon like how the crowd had predicted. Clapping furiously, Chanyeol watched how his sister’s reaction change from happily crying to a never-ending grinning as she waved in front of the crowd. His sister’s dream was always to be a model and a fashion designer someday, and she can feel that her triumph in the said competition was one step ahead in achieving her dreams._

_Jiyeon was given a microphone to say her words of gratitude. She paused first, fanning herself before starting to talk, ‘I-I…. Oh my goodness…’ She chuckled absentmindedly, still lost at words, ‘I-I honestly didn’t k-know what to say… I was feeling dejected at the start of the competition when someone I was expected to arrive didn’t show up but still managed to focused as the pageant progresses especially when one of my brothers show up…’ Jiyeon waved her hand and blew a kiss at someone in the front row, petrifying Chanyeol on his seat because he was thinking… Who was there? He felt hurt in assuming that Jiyeon was referring to him but she wasn’t even looking at his direction, ‘J-Just seeing oppa here made myself to keep trying despite all of my insecurities and self-doubt. Thank you everyone for supporting me and good night!’ People started to rumble at full volume again as she ended her speech. Shrugging off his guilt, Chanyeol was about to congratulate his sister and personally hug her on the stage when suddenly he felt like he was being punched in the gut when he saw a familiar mop of blond hair approaching Jiyeon in all smiles, hugging her tight and even placing a kiss on her forehead in front of everyone like a proud brother, whereas he should be the one who doing it, not Sungjong…_

_‘So…’ Chanyeol bitterly thought to himself as he helplessly watched towards the direction of the ecstatic duo, ‘She wasn’t even talking about me then.’ Without even having any second thoughts, he backed away, not even sparing a glance again as he departed with a heavy heart._

 

 

 

 

 

            The feeling of being forgotten never stopped there.

 

 

 

 

 

             _Chanyeol can’t sleep even it was comfortably warm in his covers. Somehow, something was stirring inside him, thus keeping him awake despite the fact that his eyes were already giving in. After multitudinous times of turning and fighting against his duvet, he reluctantly stood up, hoping that a glass of milk would drowse him until he finally drifted off in dreamland._

_Trudging with heavy steps, the tall lad groggily descended towards the kitchen to grab his drink but his heels were curtly stopped when he noticed that the lights in the living room were still opened which was unusual because it was already one in the early dawn. With curious steps, he walked towards the area where the couches were resided in front of the flamboyant flat screen TV. Sitting--- or rather slumbering beside the coffee table at the middle of the vast room was Sehun, feet uncomfortably sprawled on the floor, eyeglasses almost dropping from his eyes while his face was rested in an awkward position on the table that was full of the blond’s textbooks and other school-related stuff. He must be having an all-nighter just to review for his exams and finish his remaining portfolio reviews and outputs. It was the first time Chanyeol saw the younger sleeping off his requirements because he was Oh Sehun and it was very unlikely for him to doze off while doing his things. Even in his sleeping state the blond was frowning, save for the drool that was escaping from his mouth which the taller clandestinely found endearing._

_He just couldn’t leave his younger brother there._

 

             _Sighing forlornly, Chanyeol leaned over and fixed the younger’s things at one side of the table before effortlessly putting the boy behind his back. The older grunted as he secured Sehun in his back, wrapping the boy’s milky arms and legs on his neck and waist, respectively, his face resting on his nape, lungs moving steadily as he breathe in a soft pace. Despite being almost as tall as the older, Sehun was undeniably so light he almost weighted nothing on Chanyeol’s back. The older ascended on the staircase, his glass of milk practically forgotten. He entered Sehun and Jinyoung’s shared room and softly placed his younger brother on his messy bed. Jinyoung was motionlessly sleeping at his own place while he tucked the blond in his covers, unconsciously brushing his golden locks with his fingers, whispering, ‘You’re so hard to yourself, Hun. I know you loved studying but you still need to take care of yourself.’ Chanyeol leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead, making him to stir in his sleep, his features tightening as he gritted his teeth, ‘S-Sungjong-hyung…’ Sehun mumbled in his sleep before pulling the startled lad in his covers. The blond automatically snuggled on his chest, clinging at him like a tarsier as he purred serenely in his position. He never saw the pained expression of his hyung when he mentioned the wrong name who was sadly watching him on his sleep._

 

             _Chanyeol was excruciatingly worn-out, so he just succumbed upon the calling of Hypnos, fondly brushing the younger blond’s hair before accidentally falling asleep. Sehun was too embarrassed to admit how he ended up waking up in front of the older’s face out of all of his siblings but neither of them even tried to talk about it. Despite the fact that he only had cuddled Seungri and Sungjong, he had never spoken about how Chanyeol’s warmth was also exceptional in luring him deep into his slumber._

 

 

 

 

 

            And again…

 

 

 

 

 

             _For the first time since forever, Jinyoung was having a mental breakdown. It wasn’t his choice to experience it, though. Raindrops falling against the windowpane, the troubled teenager breathed heavily as he forced himself to stand up for another day was about to begin. Normally, the boy didn’t mind going to school since his own little world only revolved around there. Jinyoung was an introvert and didn’t like to socialize. He didn’t simply like the idea of attending parties, the latest fashion trends, heck, he even didn’t know how to flirt, and other vivacious things that teenagers in his age usually did. Instead, the boy can be only seen delving silently inside the library, his attention purely allocated to old and dusty books. He had no friends at all, not that he care, anyway._

_Or maybe not._

_Jinyoung detested Sehun as much as he hated how his life worked. The boy was awfully perfect, which he just clearly wanted to prove to everyone that the brat was nothing but a speck of dust. Since the Ohs transferred to the same private school where they studied, Sehun was the main topic and the cause of gossips in almost everyone inside the campus. He was the polar opposite of the blond; confident, witty and good-looking. He had a very picturesque frame; broad shoulders, equally proportioned face, alabaster skin and very tall height. Additionally, the fact that Sehun was five months older than him was an addition to his aggravation towards the blond. Aside from being extremely intelligent, he knew how to dance and how to catch everyone’s attention without even attempting to. People were always awestruck and usually loomed over him, heck… Even the teachers were so impressed to him he became the new favorite of the whole faculty. In just a year, he managed to snatch the first place in the overall ranking of the school, brought numerous awards and even became the student council president of their middle school._

_Jinyoung was exploding in jealousy and anger. He felt marginalized and downgraded, especially the teachers started to compare him to his brother. The only alas that was left with him from being oppressed was the title of being a Park, otherwise, he would definitely turn as a plaything for the delinquent students. How dare him to just throw all of his struggles just to stay on the top? Sehun had stolen everything from him._

_He felt betrayed, because he wasn’t blind to see how Chanyeol’s walls were leisurely crumbling in affection for the younger Ohs, particularly to the taller blond._

_Commonly, Chanyeol knew all of Jinyoung’s dramas because even though his brother regularly covered his face with an emotionless face, being very stoic and mysterious for example, the older can perfectly read the boy like an open book. What even amusing was Jinyoung never followed anyone except his father and his older brother (sans the times that Sehun wasn’t there yet to do Chanyeol’s assignments and then he will turn to the younger to muster a puppy face)._

_Then why he hadn’t sensed the boy’s troubles yet? Maybe he was busy spending time in enjoying Seungri’s attention, or throwing unflattering yet playful and harmless remarks to Sehun. Whatever his reason was, Jinyoung wasn’t loving it._

_Chanyeol was the sole reason why he also abhorred the Ohs, anyway. The older had ‘corrupted’ or influenced his mind when the first time the Ohs had come from their lives. Jnyoung respected his hyung that’s why he always obeyed to him. He was always with him every time they assault the Ohs whether physically or emotionally. If Jinyoung was good with something, it was definitely lying. Whenever Sungjong tried to report their hideous behavior to their father, he was the one who’s perfect to commence the job of pretending to be the one who’s beleaguered, altering the story and trying to convince their dad that whatever the cause of the dilemma was, it was the Ohs’ fault, not them._

_Now why Chanyeol was slowly neglecting him? To what? So that Sehun can finally replace him? So he can be completely miserable, left without anything?_

_Why the world was so cruel to him?_

Jinyoung’s suspicions were finally confirmed courtesy of a disgraceful karma.

_Chanyeol was seething in every aspects of pure exacerbation. He himself couldn’t even believe he was too, because maybe the fondness that was slowly developing inside him for Sehun was getting stronger. Seeing the boy awfully bruised from head down to toe was an enough reason for him to burst out in serious wrath._

_Sungjong was the first one to found out what happened to paler, as what expected. He always had the right instinct whenever he was sensing something so wrong. After all, he’s the one who was always beside his brothers, and the three of them had experienced too many unfortunate things to their life. Failing to go home early in time, the oldest found Sehun weakly limping behind the abandoned building inside their campus, his pale skin full of bruises and blood. He looked terrible he couldn’t even stand up and his face was badly swollen, a large bump protruding on his forehead, hair so dishevelled and even his limbs were full of unfathomable marks. Sungjong felt numb and cold at his position when he saw his brother. Although it wasn’t the first time Sehun had been beaten up, this time it was way too much and mortifying. Judging from the pool of blood soaking the blond and his shirt turning red, Sehun’s abdomen was stabbed. He hurriedly rushed towards the younger to aid his side and immediately called his father due to his discovery._

_Sehun was hospitalized courtesy of his fatal injuries. Everyone was flabbergasted and terrified, afraid that anytime the worse might come from the door. All of them were restlessly huddled in the waiting area, anxiously waiting for the operation to end. Seungri and Jimin were non-stop crying while hugging together as Jiyeon tried to calm them down with a crestfallen expression, her nose red from sniffling. Chanyeol’s grasp on his pants were getting tighter as he impatiently waited for the operation to be done, face obviously pained and he hardly stopped himself from sobbing. Sungjong and their father were the most agitated and they refused to sit down or even rest a little while they were suffering little by little as the clock slowly ticked._

_The family didn’t notice how Jinyoung intensely fidgeted from his sit, how his eyes won’t stop from dilating, how he continued to internally curse himself, or how his body kept trembling on the far corner of the line of seats away from them._

_They didn’t even know how he was fucking screwed that time._

_Three hours had passed, the doctor finally walked out from the operating room. The family raced towards him, immediately interrogating him with thousands of questions, ‘Doctor! How’s my son?! Is he okay?!’ Mr. Park demanded._

_The doctor removed his glasses first before replying. The siblings were nervously staring at him as they waited for his response, ‘Calm down, Mr. Park. Sehun is safe. He suffered multiple organ injuries because he was badly stabbed. The weapon really damaged his intestines, a portion of liver, stomach and spleen. We barely managed to stop his internal bleeding that may cause to an even serious predicament. His face was badly bruised too and his arms were full of grazes and minor lacerations. I suspect something sharp was scraped to them. Nevertheless, the operation was successful. He was lucky he was brought only a little bit late here in the hospital. You all can now see him.’_

_Chanyeol and the others finally felt relieved, the feeling of carrying a heavy heart was now gone. The two youngest were still crying as the doctor ushered them inside the room. Sehun was there, and his sight just sent a mournful wave that went crashing down to his family, submitting them in to even deeper misery. Almost everyone rushed to his side, crying silently as they observed his frame that was full of random apparatus and white bandages covering half of his face._

_JInyoung was just standing on the threshold, still petrified at the scene and can’t even properly gaze. Suddenly, he just felt puking, too overwhelmed and dazed and dizzy and guilty…_

_The brunette went outside the suffocating room, running amok before stumbling inside the comfort room where he expectorated and expectorated until he tasted his gastric juices. Jinyoung blankly stared on his reflection, cold sweat cascading from his temples. He repeatedly splashed his face with water, trying to distract himself._

_‘_ What did I do… What did I do, W-WHAT DID I D-DO… O-oh Jinyoung my g-goodness… _’ He crooned helplessly to himself. He slowly sat on the cold tile while clutching his head, rattling in discomfort while his teeth were uncontrollably clattering. The lad was so disoriented and dumbfounded, the series of events were not yet fully registering in his mind._

_How could he commit such a formidable malignancy? He definitely didn’t expect that it will turn out that far… to the point that it will literally almost break Sehun apart._

_A sudden haunting thought just resonated in his mind._

‘I don’t care how you’ll do it. Just teach that brat a lesson. Perhaps break his bones, huh?’

 

‘I don’t care how you’ll do it. Just teach that brat a lesson. Perhaps break his bones, huh?’

 

‘I don’t care how you’ll do it. Just teach that brat a lesson. Perhaps break his bones, huh?’

 

‘I don’t care how you’ll do it. Just teach that brat a lesson. Perhaps break his bones, huh?’

 

‘I don’t care how you’ll do it. Just teach that brat a lesson. Perhaps break his bones, huh?’

_‘N-No… N-No… N-No…’ It was supposed to be simple and clean beating, not a bloody murderous attempt. His instructions were explicitly clear. Physically assault Sehun because his animosities to him were getting unbearable and unfair. He didn’t mean the last part that he dropped… It was just a random vile retort that suddenly came from his mouth. Still… the person he had hired did too far and unexpected._

_‘I didn’t kill him… I-I didn’t kill him… I DIDN’T KILL HIM!’ He hysterically screamed. Jinyoung was now shaking as he vehemently sobbed on the floor, a deluge of emotions were drowning him. He couldn’t believe he almost sent his brother towards his own grave. Maybe he was blinded by being too spiteful he even carelessly did an unacceptable fault._

_Hiring someone who will beat Sehun just to have vengeance for himself? It was indeed appalling and childish. Jinyoung felt so shameful and just wanted the floor to open up and gobble him to eternal darkness._

_‘J-Jinyoung?’ In just a fraction of second, the messed-up boy became frozen on his position. He stopped sobbing as he watched the restroom door slowly creaked until it revealed a stunned Chanyeol with an unreadable expression._

_‘O-Oh my goodness…’ The brunette’s eyes went wide, back clumsily bumped against the sink as he attempted to cower down in one corner. He was caught red-handed, and he was meeting his doom. Chanyeol couldn’t believe what he just heard. His father was perplexed upon the disappearance of the lad that’s why he asked the taller to search for him. Chanyeol reluctantly obeyed because he wanted to stay longer at Sehun’s side but he couldn’t do anything. He was just about to approach the comfort room when he heard someone wailing inside it, and when he heard what Jinyoung was wailing about, he felt his stomach excruciatingly swirling._

_‘Please don’t tell me you heard everything…’ Jinyoung whispered, his voice as thin as the air, ‘YOU DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING, DID YOU?!” He repeated, this time in a form of a frantic yell._

_Before Chanyeol could even stop himself, his eyes became red. His fist was already striking until it painfully landed on the other’s chin, before it was immediately repeated with another, and another, and another…_

_‘FUCK---‘ Punch, ‘YOU---‘ Punch, ‘JINYOUNG!’ Punch. Jinyoung’s face were now stained with blood and tears, but he didn’t dare to move on his position as Chanyeol continued to attack him. The older clutched his collar and pulled his face closer until he was literally glowering at him face to face, ‘Fuck it, Jinyoung! How could you, huh?! HOW COULD YOU?!!! YOU ALMOST KILLED SEHUN YOU ASSHOLE!’_

_‘I-I---‘_

_‘Now what, huh?! Don’t lie to me, fucker! I know how liar you are so that it won’t even affect me! I just heard what I needed to hear, brat!’ He harshly shoved the brunette away, his head harrowingly banged against the tiles. Jinyoung was still sobbing, clasping his face with his palms, ‘I-I’m s-so sorry I-I’_

_‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, HUH?! YOU PIECE OF SHIT---‘ Things were getting worse, Jinyoung was drowning in multitudinous wave of emotions, and the tempest of deleterious guilt was enough to malfunction his sanity. With all of his remaining strength, he pushed Chanyeol away before storming off, not caring that he looked like mess and people were starting to curiously gaze at him._

_He ran and ran through the random corridors of the hospital, still conformed and pathetically crowning in fear and wretchedness. Thousands of thoughts were haunting him--- What if their father discovers about it? How will his siblings react on the fact that he’s the fountainhead of the deposition of Sehun?_

_‘PARK JINYOUNG! I DEMAND YOU TO STOP RUNNING LIKE A COWARD AND FACE ME!’_

_Jinyoung was already feeling light-weighted. Chanyeol had finally cornered him inside a random empty room, his face still painted with utter hatred and fury. Jinyoung backed off until his back hit the wall, eyes critically downcast._

_Chanyeol sauntered at him, ‘Why?!’ he airily choked. He slapped his own forehead, ‘Why, Jinyoung?! For fuck’s sake, how could you do this?!’ The taller was now clasping his shoulders, still can’t believe that such atrocity was happening, ‘How could you almost kill Hun?!’_

_‘I didn’t h-hurt him…’ He distressingly murmured as tears continuously fell from his blood-stained eyes, ‘I. D-didn’t. H-Hurt. Him.’ Jinyoung fisted the hem of his shirt as he continued to cry._

_‘Why do you keep on denying?! I heard you outside, Jinyoung. I heard you!’_

_‘I DIDN’T HURT HIM! I HIRED SOMEONE TO DO IT, OKAY! I DIDN’T HURT HIM, I DIDN’T HURT HIM, I DIDN’T HURT---‘_

_Red. Red was the only thing Chanyeol could see. He finally lost control, sending another series of punches towards the latter. He didn’t stop there even though Jinyoung was practically beseeching him to stop, because he was just straightforward depressed and frustrated…_

_How could he?_

_How could Jinyoung do it?_

_The taller wasn’t going to let Jinyoung turn him into a more demeaning monster he was already embodying, so he struggled to turn away just to retreat back to Sehun’s room. However, Jinyoung was not giving up yet, ‘Y-You’re just like me, hyung.’ He softly muttered, although it didn’t evade the sharp ears of the older. Chanyeol reluctantly spun in front of him, stating, ‘What. Did. You. Just. Say?’_

_Jinyoung barely smirked, wiping the blood flowing from his nostrils. He struggled to sit before daring to stare back towards the towering older in front of him._

_‘I said you’re just like me, hyung. You’re also a monster.’ He mocked. Chanyeol’s eyes twitched and his fist unintentionally clenched. Jinyoung swore he heard the taller growling under his breath but he just shrugged it away._

_‘Oh, look at him. Look at the perfect hyung in the world. Sehun looked dying, right? Well, you know what? I HOPE HE REALLY DIES!’_

_‘YOU FUCKER---‘_

_‘Don’t act like you genuinely care for him! You were the first place who decided that the Ohs are just outsiders in our family! I only looked up to you, hyung… I only looked up to you…’ His voice was already faltering, ‘Y-You… I… I only looked up to you…’_

_Chanyeol was just staring at him, mouth agape and head painfully throbbing. Jinyoung was a sobbing mess and the siblings were still caged by their own sorrow._

_‘I always thought that we were inseparable who always stick together, h-hyung. You were my defender and voice. W-We always do t-things together… B-But look what h-happened…’ He returned his gaze straight to his eyes, ‘Suddenly, you just were neglecting me and the next thing that happened was you were already hanging out with Seungri and that bastard cocky Sehun. Are you happy now, huh? Y-You’re the one w-who turned me l-like this, hyung. You’re the one.’_

_‘Don’t act like I’m the only one who did an unfathomable mistake here, because at the first place,’ Jinyoung clasped his chest, ‘You are the sole reason of all of these, hyung.’_

_‘You’re the worst hyung of all.’_

 

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol wasn’t even the key in conciliating Jinyoung and Sehun. The taller was surely devastated. He didn’t even know anymore how to act like a proper brother for his siblings. When their father had found out about it, he was outraged and disappointed. He couldn’t imagine how that idea even crossed to the brunette’s mind. He was aware that he was not a perfect father for them, but own his child planning such a dreadful act? It was just too much.

 

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung was indeed in a serious trouble.

 

 

 

 

 

             _The air was eerie and cold. The mood was tampered with pessimism that was darker than the umbra of an eclipse. As the murky mood covered the entire lifeless hospital room, Jinyoung was the lost soul inside, chained in melancholy. There, he sat beside the bed while blankly staring at Sehun, eyes too tired to produce another batch of hot tears. Although the operation was successful, an alarming complication had occurred. Unexpectedly, an internal bleeding bestowed from the blond’s abdominal wounds. He was subjected to another emergency operation, and his family was once again frantic and restless. Unfortunately, the fact about Jinyoung’s controversy had not helped the situation to possibly look at the silver lining._

 

 _‘Don’t tell me you’re gonna stop disappointing me at this point, huh?’ The brunette mentioned at the unconscious frame of Sehun while he was vulnerably waiting for him to wake up, ‘You’re the one who’s this ‘_ Mr. Ace and Handsome _’ so I bet surviving this attempted murder thanks to me will just be a piece of cake for you… Right?’ JInyoung tightly grasped the blanket, intensely trembling as his whole body was also literally vibrating, ‘But why aren’t you waking up yet?’ Jinyoung started to choke his words, ‘A-Are you trying to m-mock me, huh?! B-Because it’s really not funny…’_

_Jinyoung firmly clasped the taller’s hands, now vehemently crying his heart out, ‘F-For god’s sake, Sehun… Just w-wake up…’_

_The slightly younger didn’t cease from weeping, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m s-so s-sorry… J-Just wake up, p-please? D-Don’t die, D-Don’t die, D-Don’t die… I’m really sorry, Sehun… I-I’m really sorry.’ A shear shaking crept to his veins, followed by someone groaning. Jinyoung was startled for a split second before he realized that Sehun was already stirring from his sleep. The brunette quickly retreated his hands from the latter before wiping his tears away, ‘Se-Sehun?!’_

_The said boy struggled to blink his eyes before slowly opening them. He looked so drained and almost lifeless, dark circles under his orbs were evident and he looked like he drastically lost weight. The blond faced him with tired gaze, lips so dry he barely whispered something to his sibling, ‘W-where am I?’ The brunette was just sitting there, baffled whether what response he’ll be doing. Instead, he just shook his head before hastily standing up, ‘I…’ He trailed off, ‘I’ll call the doctor…’ Those were the last words he idly muttered before speeding away the room._

_Despite of the sudden rush, Sehun didn’t miss how JInyoung’s face lit up in relief, or how a single tear had escaped from his left eye the moment their gaze had locked together._

 

             _A loud, tumultuous reaction was the next response that overwhelmed the confined boy. After just few minutes of his time with the doctor when he explained what happened to him, his family was already feverishly weeping in front of him. His father was the first one who hugged him, ‘O-Oh my goodness...’ He gently cupped the bruised face of the pale boy, ‘I-I thought I’m gonna lose again someone who’s important to me…’ Sehun melted in his father’s arms, still bemused because his mind was still fuzzy and blank and the only thing that he was feeling was the pain on the lower part of his body. Sungjong was the second one to approach him who was furiously sobbing, ‘I-I knew something was awfully wrong when y-you didn’t went home with us that d-day… H-Hun I’m so sorry.’_

_Seungri and JImin were too exhausted they didn’t have the strength to talk so they just huddled at Sehun’s side, immensely crying like juveniles they were. Jiyeon patted the blond’s shoulders before kissing his cheek. She sadly smiled at him, ‘I know you’re going to survive.’ Chanyeol had the most dramatic reaction. He almost went havoc because of astonishment and almost broke Sehun’s ribs with his bone-wracking hug, ‘You idiot…’ He airily muttered, ‘I-I… Y-You’re safe now… You’re safe now, brat…’ Sehun, being sarcastic and all, had managed to retort a snarky remark on his statement, ‘Well, thank you for your concern, my dearest dumb hyung.’ Sehun shortly giggled before relaxing on his brother’s arms, snuggling deeper as he contentedly sighed. Everyone got a little hyped up on that mini scenario, finally reassured and the thorns that were impaling their hearts were already removed… Except for the last person who was only watching them from a distance._

 

             _Jinyoung thought he would just ruin the scene in front of him so he just decided to turn away and go home with a heavy heart. Sehun’s eyes were already on their half-lidded state and were almost closing when he caught a glimpse of Jinyoung’s image standing on the threshold. For a moment he thought he was just imagining things and he almost concluded that his mind was only tricking him for seeing the imaginary apparition but then he later remembered that the brunette was indeed the first one he saw upon regaining consciousness._

_Before he could even stop himself, he called the boy, ‘J-Jinyoung…’ Everyone stopped whatever they were doing, even the aforementioned lad who was now currently glued on the floor. Somehow, Jinyoung found a way to escape himself from being trap on a frightening situation. He uncontrollably dashed away the room, and that was the last time the family saw him, at least._

Jinyoung never went outside the guest room after that incident. Sehun was already brought home, and the doctor recommended for him to rest for a month before returning to the school. Of course it made the tall boy upset, not that he can do anything about it, anyway. He was perplexed why Jinyoung never slept inside their shared room when he returned from the hospital. No one told him about the real reason of his ambush and how it was connected to his sibling, because they want Jinyoung to tell it directly to him, not them.

 

            Mr. Park considered bringing Jinyoung to a psychiatrist to try  _fixing_ him, but the boy just refused everything from going out the room. A week had already passed, meaning, a week also had passed since he started to skip school. JInyoung would never miss a single day spending his time inside the campus, but things were just getting harder for him. He just still couldn’t accept how heavy his iniquities to the paler boy were.

 

 

 

 

 

             _Weekend came and Sungjong was getting ready for bed after checking Sehun when he heard something--- or someone shouting coming from the third floor of the mansion. Sungjong fastened his pace as he ran upstairs, adrenaline suddenly creping throughout his body._

‘What was that?’  _He mumbled to himself. The screaming and the banging continued, until he realized that it was Chanyeol who was producing those noises. When he arrived there, he saw the ruckus. The other male and Jimin in front of the guest room, trying their best to destroy the door._

_‘What’s happening here?!’ He worryingly asked. Jimin was crying as Chanyeol continued to whack the door, ‘This damn door just won’t open!’ He frustratingly retorted. The oldest rushed beside Jimin and wiped off his tears, ‘Chim-ah, what’s happening here?!’_

_Jimin sniffled first before trying his best to reply, ‘J-Jinyoungie-hyung… He’s… He’s in trouble, h-hyung… P-Please s-save him, hyung…’_

_‘Shit!’ Chanyeol cursed, ‘Jinyoung I swear to god I’ll literally break this door if you don’t open it right now you fucker!’ He continued to kick the door but it was really pointless. Soon, Jiyeon and Seungri were also there, asking why such noise was resonating throughout the mansion._

_Despite the fact that Sungjong was already palpitating, he tried his fullest to compose himself, ‘Jimin, calm down. Please explain to me what happened.’ Jimin’s gave him a teary-eyed look, his lips quivering a little, ‘I-I went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water when I saw h-hyung… G-Grazing his own wrist with a-a k-knife---‘_

_‘W-What?!’_

_‘T-Then he just ran away s-still holding t-that t-thing then I-I d-don’t know w-what to d-do t-then I-I s-saw C-Chanyeol hyung t-then I---‘_

_‘Whoa… Calm down, Chim-ah… Calm down, baby boy…’ Jiyeon cradled her brother in her arms while Sungjong rubbed circles on his back. Chanyeol was still busy trying to break in, but it was just no use. Their father wasn’t there with them and without any further help, something terrible would surely happen to Jinyoung._

_‘Open. The. Fucking. Door!’ Chanyeol repeatedly punched the door in utter exasperation, ‘JINYOUNG!’_

 

_‘Chanyeol stop it!’ Sungjong grabbed his shoulders, ‘You’re just making things worse!’_

_‘Worse? WORSE? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, HUH? WAIT FOR HIM TO BLEED UNTIL HE KILLS HIMSELF?! GODDAMNIT, SUNGJONG! I’M NOT GOING TO LOSE ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER!’ Sungjong became speechless at the outburst of the taller as they stared each on each other’s eyes. Notwithstanding, he nervously licked his lips before whispering, ‘Let me fix this.’_

_‘The fuck---‘_

_‘Trust me, Chanyeol.’ He grabbed his one arm, his eyes now averting his intense ones, ‘Just for once, trust me.’_

_Chanyeol felt like already tearing up despite of his situation, and he didn’t have any power to force Jinyoung to come out from his dungeon. Slumping his shoulders, he watched Sungjong who was now in front of the door._

_‘Jinyoung-ah.’ He started, his voice so smooth and harmless, ‘Can you please open the door?’_

_No response. Sungjong heavily breathed,_ ‘I can do this.’  _He mentally thought. He attempted to knock again, ‘Jinyoung, it’s Sungjong-hyung. We can talk if you want?’ He heard Chanyeol muttering a curse but he just ignored it. He patiently waited again and for the third time, he knocked, ‘Jinyoung-ah…’_

_‘G-Go away!’_

_Everyone became startled. At last, the brunette had cared to respond, even though it was in a reluctant way. Sungjong looked first at his siblings before pressing himself against the door._

_‘Hey. Jinyoung-ah, could you please open the door? We can talk, you know… Also… I know you’re really upset and distressed---‘_

_‘I said go away!’_

_‘Jinyong, please… I-I… It’s hyung… We’re just really worried about you, please let us in… We can talk about it, t-trust me…’_

_A long silence was the next thing that happened. Chanyeol was getting impatient, ‘This is pointless! At this rate he’ll bleed to death---‘_

_A creaking was heard and the door was finally slightly ajar, darkness evident coming from the room. Chanyeol was about to seize inside when the older stopped him, ‘N-No. Let me talk to him. All of you, call the ambulance. I’ll talk to him and I’ll try my best to calm him down. He might do impulsive actions if we barge inside together, so please, let me do the talking.’ Jiyeon and the others didn’t have to be told twice, immediately obeying and they were gone in just few seconds. The blond’s gaze landed again on the taller, ‘Chanyeol, I know you’re worried. But, please. Trust me. I’ll handle this.’_

_Chanyeol looked he wanted to say something, but he was clearly troubled in whether how he’ll argue or retaliate back. Reluctantly, he gritted his teeth before heaving a heavy sigh, fists clenching, ‘I’ll never forgive you if he won’t make it in time.’ Sungjong just nodded then he finally pushed the door open wide, ‘Prepare everything.’_

_The first thing that Jinyoung did was that he opened the light. There, near the window, Jinyoung was helplessly siting, a small pool of blood was gushing from the graze in his right wrist. Drops of blood were on the floor, and his instincts just kicked in, immediately rushing towards the brunette. However, when he was already in a safe distance between him, Jinyoung started to ardently thrash._

_‘S-Stay away!’ He ululated. His face looked terrible, and the result of being caged in inside the room was obviously manifesting in his vulnerable frame. Sunjong’s mind was only screaming to save the boy as soon as possible, but it would be really hard since Jinyoung’s free hand was still holding the knife._

_JInyoung was weeping in agony, there was no doubt about it, ‘Oh my goodness, Jinyoung…’ The older slowly kneeled in front of the boy, careful in every movement he did, ‘W-What happened to you?’ Jinyoung curled on his position, still painfully sniffling._

_‘Jinyoung-ah… Please don’t be too hard to yourself…’ He whispered, ‘P-Please… Don’t do this… You’re making us worried.’_

_‘N-Nobody cares for me…’ The brunette whimpered, his free hand still tightly clutched on the cold murderous metal he was holding, ‘I-I’m a trash, y-you know that?!’_

_‘No, that’s not true!’ Sungjong was slowly creeping so that he won’t startle the lad, ‘You know that’s not true, Jinyoung. You’re one of the brightest persons that I’ve ever met.’_

_‘You’re just saying that to make me feel better.’ Jinyoung weakly retaliated, ‘I’m the biggest mistake that has ever happened here in our family.’_

_‘Jinyoung, look---‘_

_‘I-It’s true! I-I’m a-a c-complete m-mess! I will n-never ever be enough for everyone! I-I’m eternally useless, h-hyung… I’m useless…’ He shook his head, still bawling and succumbing in the eerie prominence of negativity. Sungjong gulped an imaginary lump in his throat, and as slowly as he could do, he gently touched the brunette’s hand._

_‘Jinyoung, listen.’ The said boy petulantly glanced at him, ‘You may have done something terrible, but it didn’t change the fact that you are still a human, Jinyoung. People make mistakes, and it is very inevitable. I know you’re a great boy, and it kills me to see you also suffering. You were also a victim, Jinyoung-ah. A mere victim of utter jealousy and the fear of being alone greatly degraded you, deteriorating your hopes until it completely turned three-sixty.’_

_‘Sehun would never forgive me.’ Jinyoung murmured, ‘Like ever.’_

_‘It’s not the end of the world, JInyoung. Sehun would surely forgive you. You just need to genuinely ask him for it. Killing yourself wouldn’t alleviate all of your guilt. It will just lead you to even profounder catastrophes.’ Sungjong caressed his face, ‘Don’t you ever think that we don’t love you, Jinyoung-ah. You know it’s not true. Dad and the others love you, and you just have to appreciate them more, especially Jimin and Jiyeon. I know you felt that Chanyeol is neglecting you but I don’t think that’s true. Seungri also really likes you a lot even though you always push him back, and Sehun? You two always fight, but you know what? Sehun never hated you. If you could also give him a chance to be at least friends with him, you’ll see how he also deeply cares for you, like how he cares for me and Seungri, as well as Chanyeol and the others.’_

_‘And me? I can’t force you to like me. I know it’s hard to have an outsider in your family, but none of us had also expected about this. I barely met dad and one day he just appeared in our front door, declaring that he’s our father that we were waiting for so long and then he took as here. The anger inside you is acceptable, but can you at least give me a chance to prove to you that I’m better that you expected to be?’_

_Sungjong had successfully removed the knife from Jinyoung’s grip without even the latter noticing. Jinyoung finally poured out all of the remaining strength he had, crying all of his distress and suffocation was now gradually dissipating._

_‘I-I’m s-so s-sorry h-hyung… I-I’m s-so sorry…’ Sungjong tightly hugged him, ‘I’m a-a m-monster… I-I’m so s-sorry, h-hyung! I-I don’t d-deserve y-your l-love…’_

_‘Ssshhh… Everybody deserved to be loved, Jinyoung-ah. Even the worst person still knows how to make his heart function, what more an intelligent being like you, Park Jinyoung?’_

_‘You are always loved. Remember that.’_

            Luckily, the ambulance arrived just in time, saving Jinyoung’s life. Jiyeon was left behind to take care of Sehun, while the others went to the hospital to monitor Jinyoung’s injuries. Chanyeol had heard everything, from Jinyoung’s self-loathe up to Sungjong’s touching words. He never noticed that he was slowly drifting off from Jinyoung, or how the boy was suffering from being alone. How could he? He was the oldest one, and he appointed himself to always watch out for his siblings…

 

 

 

            Oh. He almost forgot. He wasn’t the oldest now to do it.

 

_‘W-What are you doing here?’ His eyes trailed at the blond who was just standing few feet away from him. The other boy’s arms were tightly wrapped with white bandages, hiding the ugly bruises from the laceration he had received. Incremental anxiety was building up on his throat, and he tightly grasped the hospital bed when Sehun slowly approached him._

_‘Y-You should be still lying in your bed, n-not roaming around here…’ Jinyoung muttered. However, the blond just ignored him, instead, he sat on the empty chair beside him._

_‘I heard you were hospitalized too.’ Sehun started._

_‘Huh?’_

_‘And you also tried to kill yourself.’_

_‘Oh.’_

_‘And you made dad worried just like what I did to him last last week.’_

_Jinyoung didn’t know how to respond,_ ‘Oh my goodness, he’s here.’ _,_  ‘Should I tell him the truth?!’ _,_  ‘What am I supposed to do?!’ _random thoughts started to stir him up, and honestly, he was bad at hiding his fears, especially to a rampant situation like what he was experiencing right now. Sehun was just staring at him, which he found really uncomfortable._

_‘Have you eaten yet? Sungjong-hyung said you always refused to eat whatever the nurses offer you. You know, what? Get ready to get filled up, ‘cause you ain’t gonna stop me from feeding you.’_

_Sehun was about to stand up when Jinyoung grabbed his arms, ‘N-No… Stop…’ Sehun nonchalantly shrugged off, ‘Like what I’ve said, Jinyoung---‘_

_‘I need to tell you something important.’_

_Sehun knitted his eyebrows, but he didn’t say anything. He slowly sat back on his sit before crossing his arms on his chest, ‘Okay. What’s up?’ Jinyoung inhaled first, ‘How come you are acting as if we’re okay since day one?’_

_‘Oh, do want me to be mean to you? You could have asked it earlier, you know. I can definitely grant your wish.’_

_‘No, No, No! I-I… I just… Never mind! I… listen.’ He gulped his own saliva. It was now or never. No backing out, ‘I’m s-sure it’s still fresh to you that you’re badly injured by some random punk at the school campus so yeah.’ Jinyoung halted for few seconds, still mustering his courage to come up the whole truth, ‘T-The thing is… I…’_

_‘I what?’_

_‘I… Look… The incident that had happened to you? I-I was responsible for it, Sehun.’_

_Silence. Silence was surrounding the whole room. Sehun was just staring nowhere, trying to process what Jinyoung had said. He scratched his clavicle, still mystified, ‘Uh. Excuse me?’ Jinyoung was now feeling hot and he was biting his own lips just to cease himself from crying. His grasp on his knees were now getting stronger._

 

_‘I hired someone to harm you, d-dummy… I-I swear I just asked them to hurt you a little, but t-they obviously w-went t-too f-far and y-you was hospitalized and you had a m-minor internal b-bleeding which may lead to haemorrhage a-and I-I’m j-just s-so stupid and s-selfish…’_

_Sehun tried to open his mouth but no words were escaping from it. He licked his lips and glanced at Jinyoung who was already bawling in fear while boring holes at his blanket that was already stained with his tears. The blond rubbed his temples, trying to process the latter’s words in his mind._

_‘I-I…’ Sehun started, ‘I didn’t know that you disliked me that bad.’ Jinyoung lowered his gaze, sniffing so noisily it even turned into a shattering dejection._

_‘I-I meant harm, but not in an inhumanely way. I-I swear it, S-Sehun. I swear it, even if I perish right now.’_

_Sehun didn’t know how to react, or how he will address the situation. What was he going to feel? Get angry to Jinyoung? Punch his face? Curse at him with unbearable words? Everything felt distant and just… wrong for Sehun. Or he couldn’t comprehend what to do? Either way, he was torn between his thoughts._

_‘D-does anyone know about this?’_

_‘C-Chanyeol-hyung was the first one to know… Then I was forced to tell everyone…’ Jinyoung sadly smiled, ‘Dad was furious he almost punched me, albeit I deserved it, anyway. I-I was so ashamed to even plaster my face in front of you so I decided not to stay in our shared room. I-I know we’re not in good terms b-but, I just feel so bad for myself. If I could only loathe myself more, I will definitely do.’_

_Sehun closed his eyes. He contemplated whether he’s going to reply back because there was still an imaginary boundary hindering in his mind. Nevertheless, ‘Y-You know what?’ He whispered, ‘What you did was… I don’t know what’s the right word to describe it… Uh… Indecisive? Yeah. It was indecisive and absurd. I-I can’t believe that…’ Sehun shook his head, ‘If you want to hurt me badly you should just have done it the braver way, not hiring someone to do the dirty job.’_

_‘I-I don’t know what else to do! I-I was blinded with jealousy and wrath I just wanted you to s-suffer l-like how I’m experiencing right at this moment…’ Jinyoung hyperventilated, ‘I-I… My life’s literally living inside the hellhole infested with darkness, y-you know that? I-I… I-I…’_

_‘So you think you’re the only one who feel like dying?’ Sehun interjected. Jinyoung nervously glanced back at Sehun, still bearing a hopeless crestfallen expression, ‘I…’ He tried to answer be his voice was already betraying him._

_‘You’re pathetic if that’s how your mind processes. For Pete’s sake, Jinyoung. I know you’re smart and open-minded but… drowning yourself in self-pity? For real, Jinyoung?! I thought you’re better than that?’_

_Sehun was already standing. He stood in front of the brunette, his body now trembling in anger, ‘Now that’s some bullshit you’re saying!’ The pale boy slammed his hand on top of the old table beside the hospital bed, making the younger flinch, ‘Ten years, Jinyoung. Ten. Painful. Years. I suffered a decade full of heart-breaking scenarios that shadowed most of my childhood, Jinyoung. I was barely three years old when our mom died. Seungri was born and hyung didn’t know how to take care of us because no immediate family would like to adopt us. Since then, Sungjong-hyung became our shield amidst the perilous battlefield we had trekked. Fate had played its cards on us in a very unfairly way, and those days we slept with empty stomachs, burning in fever, or begging for money on the streets were traumatizing and painful. There were times I almost gave up in life, but hyung always taught us to look for the optimistic luminescence of life. I learned to turn challenges into something useful, thus circumventing hindrances became possible.’_

_‘I didn’t know how you lived your life before we met you so I am not in the position where I can judge you, but have you ever thanked your life for being in such a prestigious state? You were born literally with a golden spoon ready to be fed to your mouth, Jinyoung.’ Sehun was now also tearing up, ‘L-Life was easy for you compared to us. E-Even in a short time, you experienced to have a complete family, and you never felt how people looked at you with such disgusted expressions or how overwhelming oppression to the poor was. If I was in your position, I would be surely grateful and won’t wish more because just being complete with your family makes a person’s heart contented, right?’_

_Sehun wiped his face. He crumbled back to his seat, weariness still lingering, ‘This kind of degeneracy you did to me? You know it’s hard for me to accept it, right? Especially that no matter how you hate it or not, we are still connected by blood. I-I will forever remember this, and I think this will take me a while for me to dwell with it.’_

_‘Nonetheless, fear not.’ Sehun nibbled his lips, ‘You know what? I’m not the only one who’s pathetic here.’ Jinyoung expectedly looked at him, waiting him to throw another hurtful yet unpolished sentences. Instead, he was taken aback._

_‘Because after all years of being treated like rubbish that was stripped down and left with nothing but disgrace, I still somehow wanted to forgive you so bad.’_

_‘That’s how families work, right? I don’t think I have the excuse to hold a grudge to you Jinyoung. After all, you’re still my brother, and siblings don’t end up having a remorseful relationship, at least to me.’_

Jinyoung still faced the price of his crimes after being confined. Since he was still a minor, he wasn’t completely apprehended, but a series of discussions and therapies were commenced in order to rehabilitate him and fix his mental degradations. Since Sehun didn’t want to complicate the situation further, he didn’t file a case against him, although the person Jinyoung had hired received the backlash from it. During his sessions, his siblings would always visit him, especially Chanyeol and Sehun. Jinyoung and the latter had also progressively started to open up with each other. During the long run, one by one, their long series of insecurities and competition against each other had finally come to an end. Everything was almost fine now… Almost if it wasn’t for the concealed insecurity and guilt inside Chanyeol. He still felt like useless especially Sungjong was the bridge in breaking Sehun and Jinyoung’s enmity on each other.

 

Finally were his frustrations in his ‘competition’ for the affection of his younger siblings against the oldest.

 

 

 

 

 

             _Jimin was the perfect youngest dongsaeng everyone could ask for you. He was literally an angel sent from heaven because of his good natured attitude and the contagious happy virus aura he was always carrying. No one can resist Jimin’s charm and pouty face--- not even the stoic Jinyoung and sassy Sehun themselves._

_At the same time, Seungri was the sweetest and caring, despite being so loud and hyperactive. Since he became closer to the Parks, he started to manifest his natural caring behaviour he had inherited from his mother. The boy was clingy and wasn’t shameful to express his love for his siblings. His canoodles were the sole weakness of Sungjong and Sehun and he was the only one he can make Jinyoung guffaw so loud, exposing his beautiful smile and flawless teeth._

_Chanyeol wasn’t the exception on the two’s attributions. Despite of his threatening presence and tall frame, he loved to coo them. He was getting closer to Seungri and he was also gradually regaining back JImin’s trust to him. He still had a long way to run, but at least he was progressing._

_As usual, Sungjong was the one who was ‘hindering’ his plans because he still viewed the oldest as a treat. He won’t forget how many times Sungjong unintentionally interrupted Chanyeol’s period with the two youngest. The blond can effortlessly steal their attention with his genuine and brotherly personality, and majority of his siblings really like him._

_His spot was definitely replaced and Jimin’s attention was very precious for him, that’s why he can’t help himself but to feel hurt every time he saw the youngest talking to happily to Sungjong, or even doing the things he and him used to do together back then with the oldest._

            The jealousy never ended, because he had seen himself being blinded by it countless of times throughout his teenage years, like how Sungjong had easily yet unintentionally dethroned him on his position in being the most responsible hyung and oppa to his siblings, which he overtook the hard way.

             _Seventeen year old Chanyeol would be deceitful if he denied that he wasn’t burning in jealously one Saturday evening when he saw all of his siblings inside the shared room of Seungri and Jimin huddled up in front of the huge flat screen television while covered in blanket, watching some kind of horror film while laughing their hearts out, sharing each other’s stories and just having a classic sibling bonding. Jiyeon was leaning on Sungjong’s shoulder, grinning widely while Seungri was freely cuddling Jinyoung who seemed to be unbothered which was definitely weird since the latter hated any kind of physical contact. Even Sehun who rarely smiled was already giggling loudly as Jimin cracked a joke which made everyone to produce such boisterous laugh, echoing around the room. They were all teenagers now, yet they acted like hyperactive children who were naughtily playing with each other. They all looked so perfect even without him. His eyes specifically landed on the oldest, his insides churning in envy and hatred. He should be the one who’s causing the lively aura enveloping his younger siblings, not the shorter blond because since the beginning, it was his role to entertain his brothers and sister. Being in a horrible mood, he purposely closed the door with a loud bang before wandering away the room, hoping that it would taint his sibling’s mood. Unknowingly, he failed to do so because his pathetic act hardly even budged the others, still too immersed in each other’s antics._

It was true that they didn’t notice the fuming taller, except the oldest one.

 

 

 

 

 

_‘You should have just joined us, you know.’ Sungjong asked one day when he saw Chanyeol silently lounging in the balcony area. The taller seemed to be in deep thought when he barged in, because he looked startled and surprised upon seeing the blond._

_‘A-Ah… I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’ Sungjong apologized. Chanyeol looked everywhere but the older’s caramel orbs. He awkwardly scratched his elbow before clearing his throat, ‘What do you need?’_

_Sungjong plopped himself on the railing, not caring the possibility that he might fall. He looked at moon with a longing face, stating, ‘There’s so many things that had happened in our family these past few months,’ He played with his own hands, ‘It’s been five years since we… you know. Arrived here. Things were really hard for me and… I am sure also for you, especially that this change was really drastic and unexpected.’_

_‘I remember the first time we all met. With all due honesty, during that time, I didn’t know what to act or what to even respond. I knew that Seungri would cry and Sehun would get mad at me for even trusting dad to bring us to his own home. I was trapped between my own queues of endless turmoil, and the only logical for me to do was to impulsively think what I will do in order to at least choose the right choice. The consequences were the last thing that opted me, and I never realized the impending challenges that the complete change that we were about to have. After all, everything comes with a luxurious prize. But you know what? I was ready to pounce back even it broke my whole being._

_‘I stopped caring for my own sake since our mother died. I swore to her that I will always look after the two in spite of my young age. I lost count how many times I’ve grieved in desolation just keep us from breathing.’_

_Chanyeol shrugged his head, ‘Why are telling me about this?’ He quizzically asked. Sungjong didn’t look back, instead, he just sadly grinned, ‘I’m just trying to share to you what I feel. You know, it’s feels so right saying your burdens and problems to someone. Solitude is good, but I think it’s better if you’re not alone, right?’_

_‘Everyone has a different opinion about it.’ Chanyeol breathed, ‘Not every time that time will be in favor to you.’_

_‘That’s right. I’m not saying that, though. I just want to emphasize that as long as you have the chance to feel the joviality and the beauty of life, grab that opportunity to enjoy it because things like these only come once in a blue moon. Life follows the same cycle. After a torrential storm, it will still stop until a rainbow will appear on the clear sky, meaning, another flare of hope has lightened up. Then, the former will repeat. Pestilence will destroy that hope, and then light will try again to penetrate the darkness within you. Now tell me, what can you infer about that?’_

_Sungjong softly turned at his direction. Chanyeol was still standing a few meters away from him, looking taken aback, ‘M-Me?’ He sarcastically chuckled, ‘Are you seriously asking me to answer your mind-blowing statement?’_

_Sungjong didn’t say anything, although he seemed unbothered. He returned his gaze back to the natural satellite in front of him that was still flawlessly shinning, ‘Life is just teaching us how to balance and prepare ourselves during its rollercoaster ride. It wants us to remember that happiness won’t last, but at the same time, there is always a way to overcome a cataclysmic disaster. In other words, live your life the fullest.’_

_‘You don’t make sense.’ Chanyeol intervened, ‘I-I mean… What’s the point if you’re going to follow that same old boring pattern? It’s like we’re just a plaything for whoever created us. I get that you need to always need to clung for the positivity of life, but if same things will just ruin us, then what’s the point of celebration at first place, then?’_

_‘That’s the beauty of it, Chanyeol. Sure, things repeat in a predictable pattern, but have you paid attention on how things work within these transitions? There are various things that you can learn from it and I’m not gonna state them one by one because they are too many. But two things are certain. I learned how to love and to be forgiving, and because of these values, they were followed with many, for every cloud has a silver lining.’_

_Sungjong waited for the taller to respond. Chanyeol was speechless and astounded, nevertheless, it seemed like little by little, his mind was getting clearer._

_‘I…’ He sighed, ‘I’ll never win this argument. I think I might have a nosebleed.’ Sungjong chuckled and jumped back the floor. He went beside the taller, ‘I never said that we are arguing.’ He beamed. Chanyeol ruffled his own hair, ‘Sorry. I got carried away.’ Sungjong said._

_‘How about you? Do you mind sharing something?’_

_Chanyeol looked uncomfortable, ‘I… I don’t think so. I---‘_

_‘Hey.’ Sungjong softly soothed, ‘I understand if you don’t want to say something. You don’t have to, you know?’ Sungjong gave him a reassuring smile which made him calm, ‘I had a good talk with you. Honestly, I was surprised when you even responded to my words. That thing alone was really amusing for me, and I am really grateful that at last, after five years, we had a proper conversation.’_

_Chanyeol sat at one of the chairs on the area, sighing so hard his distress was clearly evident, ‘Have you ever felt like being jettisoned?’ He started. His voice was trembling a bit, and it was foreign for him to feel so nervous around someone. Sungjong sat beside him, ‘Well… Sometimes, especially during the first two years that our mom died. What’s the matter?’_

_Chanyeol closed his eyes and tried to synchronize his breathing, ‘I… That’s what I’m feeling for a while now… If you want me to be honest with myself.’_

_‘I-I never liked the idea of you guys living with us five years ago, and I know it was the obvious fact judging how I treated you badly. When Jiyeon was born, I decided to myself that I will do my best to look after her, that I will be the the greatest brother that she will have. Two years had passed, Jinyoung and Jimin arrived. I’ve never been so zealous about my life, but I know that my family is also my main priority despite of all of its imperfections. M-Mom and dad always fought with each other, so keeping up the energy inside the household was difficult and it just feels unnatural every time I fake the feeling of being lackadaisical.’_

_‘It didn’t help the fact that it’s just few months since mom died when you guys arrived. For years I really loathed you because how could dad cheat to mom?!’ Sungjong squirmed a bit, ‘I-I’m sorry…’ Was the only thing that he had said._

_‘N-No. It’s not your fault, anyway. Dad had you first before me. It just proved how my parents disliked each other.’ He massaged his forehead, ‘O-Our family was literally fucked up since the beginning, you know that? And even how much I tried to build it up all over and over again, it’s just useless and appalling.’_

_‘You being older than me was what really shattered me into pieces. I felt like the only thing that I was good at was been stripped down from me, especially how you effortlessly caught Jiyeon and Jimin’s affections. Heck… You even thawed Jinyoung’s frozen heart. You were so perfect and a promising threat to me. I w-was dilapidating in envy even up to now. So y-yeah… I feel like I’m being forsaken.’ Chanyeol humourlessly laughed, ‘It’s funny that I made Jinyoung to feel like that too.’_

_‘I-I never thought that you were feeling like that…’ Sungjong muttered after minutes of silence, ‘I just thought that you hated me because of my existence. I-I… I understand why you felt that way… But you should have told me earlier so that I’ve done better in finding my place. I just wanted to also be close to them a-and who knows? Someday, maybe to you.’_

_‘That will only happen if you give me the chance, Yeol. You don’t have to call me hyung or treat me like I’m the oldest, just let me show you I also care for you.’_

_Chanyeol sniffled, too late to realize that he was already tearing up. He never cried in front of anyone, sans his mother’s funeral and Sehun’s confinement, but his emotions were acting involuntary he just couldn’t control them anymore._

_The taller wiped his eyes with his fist, ‘Seungri and Sehun made me realize that I am feasible in accepting change, although hard.’ He made a final look at his brother, his eyes bloodshot and too drowned in lethargy._

_‘I think it is now the time for me to end my declinations and give you a chance, hyung.’_

Being not the oldest anymore wasn’t that bad at all. Chanyeol had now experienced how to lean on someone, and the burden he was carrying a long time ago was finally removed from his back. It didn’t completely mean that he had changed his role. He was still the old Chanyeol, but more understanding and the better side of him was becoming apparent. He never felt the feeling of someone’s looking after him, but when he did, it was just surreal for him. Finally, he learned to look up and respect Sungjong.

 

 

 

 

 

            So that’s how Chanyeol’s life was before he even became an actor. Full of twists and turns, the actor had barely survived them all. Still, his question was still left unanswered. Originally, he would inform his siblings that he won’t be celebrating the holiday with them due to certain circumstances.

 

 

 

 

 

            Are they going to accept his lover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Two coming up!

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for Special Chapters!  
> Song used: Stay with Me by Chanyeol and Punch


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